1000 questions for the Gibraltar Arena

by baumerworld on Jan 9, 2007 1:43 PM PST Comment 23 comments

On the ESPN there is the Chat with the former warrior: Gibraltar Arena
He was late to the chat, but I put out a bunch of questions for him to look at and then say his thoughts on.

On sunday, the 28th you are playing the celtics. Could you kick a ball to me in warm ups? I'll be in the balcony holding a sign that says, "Kick me a ball during warm ups Gilbert"
It's my dad's birthday that day and if you can't kick the ball could you give us a peace sign?

I did not know you nickname was the "the hibachi" until I looked you up on the internet a few minutes ago. Do people expect more from you when you go to BBQ's? Would you ever like to come over my place for a backyard crucial BBQ?

If you're only a tiny little hibachi is there anyone in the NBA who could be considered a deep fry cooker?

Where is the exact location of gilbertology? Can I get there from Baumerworld?

Happy Birthday Gilbert on the day before yesterday's yesterday. Hypothetically speaking, what would be a better birthday gift: a radio that made you breakfast every morning or a time machine that only allowed you to go back in time for only 10 seconds at a time, but made your hair fall out?

Gilbert, in honor of you wearing smaller shoes on the court, size 13 instead of 14 ½, I've decided to wear size 10 instead of size 12. Do you notice though that when you wear the smaller shoes that they sometimes bark at you and ask you to feed them like they were hungry dogs. This usually happens right before I pass out. If your smaller shoes don't bark at you Gilbert what do they do?

The other night I had a dream that I decided the next president with a flip of a coin. The coin landed on heads and an African American won. As the proclaimed, "Black President," how long do you think this dream will become a reality?

Gilbert, you once played for the Golden State Warriors. They have been arguably the worst team the last 13 seasons. With that said, would you ever watch a television show starring Adonal Foyle and me?

Gilbert, people often talk about that Lebanon James guy as greatest player ever. Do you think it's because he wears a headband? How come you don't wear a headband? If I wore a headband to the office for a month would I get employee of the month? What do you think of those Lebanon James commercials with all the different Lebanons running around? Is there any progress on your commercial with the wheelchair kid? I want to see that commercial. Have you thought about expanding it into a movie someday when your playing days are over?

Do you ever miss your days playing for the Warriors? When you see Troy Murphy do you still find yourself scratching your head as to how he was picked a round before you? Do you think this idea would be a good tv show: have all the players drafted ahead of Gilbert who are no longer playing in the NBA and put them in one house to live together. In the house they would have to work with Diddy, as an off shoot of making the band, to make an album of some kind and also have to, as a group, coach a middle school basketball team.

Gilbert, I think you have a unique sense of humor or at least a different sense of passion than most people I've followed in the NBA. Can you recommend some movies, music, books or websites?

And then it happened:
Gibraltar canceled the chat.

" Buzzmaster: (3:48 PM ET ) SportsNation, it's with the greatest of apologies I tell you that it doesn't look like we're going to get Gilbert on today. I guess his schedule just got too backed up. I just talked to the Wizards' PR people and we're going to reschedule. We'll let you know when. I am incredibly sorry."

I tried asking the Buzzmaster if he would have asked Gibraltar my questions, but I haven't heard back.

Other things I wanted to ask Gilbert Arenas:
-Gilbert, would you ever change your name to Gibraltar Noriega? Would you change it to that if it guaranteed an NBA title?
-Gilbert, if I met up with you at after a game would you like to have a cheeseburger eating contest?
--When playing for the Warriors, did you rent a car and then drive around yelling out the window, "I'm Gilbert Arenas. I'm driving a rental and you better not try and run at me."
-When playing with the Warriors, did you ever try and dunk from half court and then when a teammate said, "You can't dunk from half court" you said, "See, that's what is wrong with this team and why they never make the playoffs. They always thinking they can't do something"?
-When playing for the Warriors did Adonalgland ever invite you over for breakfast?

This FanPost is a submission from a member of the mighty Golden State of Mind community. While we're all here to throw up that W, these words do not necessarily reflect the views of the GSoM Crew. Still, chances are the preceding post is Unstoppable Baby!

0 recs | Comment 23 comments

Story-email Email Printer Print

Comments

Diddy, Noriega, Hibachi, all in one diary

Insane. Crazy as Gilbert Zero himself.

Gilbert might pull a Mark Cuban and answer all of those questions next time!

I'd ask if I could go up to his place and train once in his "thin-air" machine environment.

by back2back51s on Jan 9, 2007 7:13 PM PST reply actions 0 recs

Dude, what IS your point??

Sorry but I've got be a little harsh here. I've read about ten of your posts over the past few weeks and still can't get a sense of what you're trying to achieve other than to bloviate mindlessly. Most respondents gently make fun of your rantings since there's nothing in your posts to actually respond to or engage with. Really, dude, you should reconsider why you're taking up space with these inane ramblings. Are you even a bball fan!?! I think it's fair to say that probably most GSOM readers would rather have new and/or interesting info on the dubs or the NBA or even anything comprehensible rather than the gobbledigook your write.

by Spiritof75 on Jan 9, 2007 7:39 PM PST reply actions 0 recs

Dude

what WAS your point of writing that other than to complain and then get hated on because we all love Baumerworld? If you really don't like the posts you could then ignore them? I mean, if noone liked it, I'd understand. But it's just an entertaining read.

This site isn't ALL Warriors. We had NFL going for a while there.

by Zorgon on Jan 9, 2007 7:58 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

Seriously...

I was actually hoping for some reply from the Baumerworld himself so I could make some sense of it all. Since his posts don't get many replies I doubt most GSOMers 'love' him. My idea of entertaining is your love for Adonal, which I admire deeply in a fatalistic sort of way. He may not be worth his contract but Adonal would make my team any day, even if as a sub.

by Spiritof75 on Jan 9, 2007 8:13 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

They crucified Jesus too

I know I'm not the only one here who "loves" Baumer's writing. If you want to find out if the Baumer Fans are a majority, you always could start a poll -- but even we're just a vocal minority, so what? There's plenty of space in the diary column for all kinds of posts. There are more than enough writers, on GSoM and elsewhere, who traffic in the safe, mainstream discourse you seem to favor. Different strokes, as they say...

No point in trying to explain Baumer to the skeptics -- as I said before, "if you have to ask, you'll never know" -- but if you want someone to compare him to, a good start might be Bob Dylan circa 1965-68. I was listening to "Dylan's 119th Dream" the other day, and was totally reminded of a typical day in the life of Baumer... (apologies for stealing server space, or whatever)

I was riding on the Mayflower
When I thought I spied some land
I yelled for Captain Arab
I have yuh understand
Who came running to the deck
Said, "Boys, forget the whale
Look on over yonder
Cut the engines
Change the sail
Haul on the bowline"
We sang that melody
Like all tough sailors do
When they are far away at sea

"I think I'll call it America"
I said as we hit land
I took a deep breath
I fell down, I could not stand
Captain Arab he started
Writing up some deeds
He said, "Let's set up a fort
And start buying the place with beads"
Just then this cop comes down the street
Crazy as a loon
He throw us all in jail
For carryin' harpoons

Ah me I busted out
Don't even ask me how
I went to get some help
I walked by a Guernsey cow
Who directed me down
To the Bowery slums
Where people carried signs around
Saying, "Ban the bums"
I jumped right into line
Sayin', "I hope that I'm not late"
When I realized I hadn't eaten
For five days straight

I went into a restaurant
Lookin' for the cook
I told them I was the editor
Of a famous etiquette book
The waitress he was handsome
He wore a powder blue cape
I ordered some suzette, I said
"Could you please make that crepe"
Just then the whole kitchen exploded
From boilin' fat
Food was flying everywhere
And I left without my hat

Now, I didn't mean to be nosy
But I went into a bank
To get some bail for Arab
And all the boys back in the tank
They asked me for some collateral
And I pulled down my pants
They threw me in the alley
When up comes this girl from France
Who invited me to her house
I went, but she had a friend
Who knocked me out
And robbed my boots
And I was on the street again

Well, I rapped upon a house
With the U.S. flag upon display
I said, "Could you help me out
I got some friends down the way"
The man says, "Get out of here
I'll tear you limb from limb"
I said, "You know they refused Jesus, too"
He said, "You're not Him
Get out of here before I break your bones
I ain't your pop"
I decided to have him arrested
And I went looking for a cop

I ran right outside
And I hopped inside a cab
I went out the other door
This Englishman said, "Fab"
As he saw me leap a hot dog stand
And a chariot that stood
Parked across from a building
Advertising brotherhood
I ran right through the front door
Like a hobo sailor does
But it was just a funeral parlor
And the man asked me who I was

I repeated that my friends
Were all in jail, with a sigh
He gave me his card
He said, "Call me if they die"
I shook his hand and said goodbye
Ran out to the street
When a bowling ball came down the road
And knocked me off my feet
A pay phone was ringing
It just about blew my mind
When I picked it up and said hello
This foot came through the line

Well, by this time I was fed up
At tryin' to make a stab
At bringin' back any help
For my friends and Captain Arab
I decided to flip a coin
Like either heads or tails
Would let me know if I should go
Back to ship or back to jail
So I hocked my sailor suit
And I got a coin to flip
It came up tails
It rhymed with sails
So I made it back to the ship

Well, I got back and took
The parkin' ticket off the mast
I was ripping it to shreds
When this coastguard boat went past
They asked me my name
And I said, "Captain Kidd"
They believed me but
They wanted to know
What exactly that I did
I said for the Pope of Eruke
I was employed
They let me go right away
They were very paranoid

Well, the last I heard of Arab
He was stuck on a whale
That was married to the deputy
Sheriff of the jail
But the funniest thing was
When I was leavin' the bay
I saw three ships a-sailin'
They were all heading my way
I asked the captain what his name was
And how come he didn't drive a truck
He said his name was Columbus
I just said, "Good luck."

by Sleepy Freud on Jan 9, 2007 11:11 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

Exactly.

"No point in trying to explain Baumer to the skeptics -- as I said before, "if you have to ask, you'll never know"

Who else could say, "Who cares what Steve Kerr says?!?" in such an entertaining way? Baumer says a lot about the game, on and off the court, in a way that brings out the twisted version of what we all generally think. As unreal as Baumer seems...once unraveled he is the most down to earth of us all.

by pyro on Jan 10, 2007 4:24 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

Since his posts don't get many replies

"Since his posts don't get many replies I doubt most GSOMers 'love' him"

We don't reply because we are not worthy.

by Skeptic con Urquell on Jan 10, 2007 9:04 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs

To tell you the truth

I didn't liek his first 1-3 posts there. I had no idea what they were saying. However, I got into it once I actually read the whole thing and thought it was funny. It grew on me.

Actually I've hated a lot of great GSoM ideas (webpins) and liked others that fails (NFL).

And man, I don't know why so many people love my love of Adonal! I just do what I do, hah.

by Zorgon on Jan 10, 2007 4:21 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

Lol

I should wear size 10s now instead of my size 17 tanks. (Before you ask, yes, it is hard to get stylish shoes for me feet, but I manage.)

by Zorgon on Jan 9, 2007 8:00 PM PST reply actions 0 recs

spirit...

when you spend time in the community you will understand. When I was new (quite recently) I too found baumers posts quite strange and arguably pointless.....but like you do with new neighbors you watch their ways since they are the ones who have done them for a while....then you either learn to love them or leave.... :) In my opinion, baumer is one of the great reasons GSoM is a fantastic and entertaining site, as opposed to a boring website strictly for news and rumors.

by bradyk2 on Jan 9, 2007 11:49 PM PST reply actions 0 recs

It's a way

to make it through the day. Besides his posts are only half as ridiculous as not making the playoffs 12 years in a row.....

by FoyledAgain on Jan 10, 2007 12:31 AM PST reply actions 0 recs

You can only debate

how the Warriors can win games for soo many hours before you need a break, especially in constant heated MikeD/Baron/Murphy skillset/salary exchanges.

Zorgon said recently its only the cellar bottom teams who have such great fans and bloggers. Think about that.

The teams who win often have fans who don't really have much to talk about other than man its great to win all the time(and only be in slight outrage after a 10 game winstreak or something is broken), while us bottom feeders can't stop explaining our ideas of how we can get out of the hole, considering we continue to lose games we should win.

We can argue and point fingers after every loss considering we believe we shouldn't ever lose one game from here on out if we have any chance at success. "PLAYOFFS?!"

Baumer is welcome here just as anyone else. He knows his stuff, as I've noticed here and there in his diaries which an average NBA fan wouldn't care to know.

And if his style isn't your thing, pay it no mind right?

There's plenty of other rumor, trade, cut, D-League, popcorn joke, Biggie Smalls, Adidas shoe(again! word to Zorgon, southwest.com) threads out there anyway.

Please don't scare away the baumer-man for another month!

by back2back51s on Jan 10, 2007 12:54 AM PST reply actions 0 recs

Ok, ok..

And if his style isn't your thing, pay it no mind right?

...point taken

The site IS great and I've been here as a lurker for months already so I'll just leave the guy do his stuff since he does have those who seem to appreciate it. It was nothin personal but I just didn't get it. My bad.

by Spiritof75 on Jan 10, 2007 7:47 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs

No worries

I wouldn't want to be confused as to why someone gets such liberties either in writing among generally informative stuff.

It doesn't hurt to ask. Glad you did. And you weren't even as harsh as the last guy, who was calling out baumer as some "crazy nerd."

baumer's entrance here was immediately felt, as it was super weird how he showed up with a Don Nelson and college roommate story in an Open Game Thread!

He found his niche and the right place to put these satires in our community diaries.

by back2back51s on Jan 10, 2007 8:03 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs

Lol

you don't know that actual torture of watching a Suns game on FSN Arizona. It gets impounded into your brain!

Although, now that D'Antoni sold his wardrobe to a local mens store, when do you think Nellie Hilfiger will come out?

by Zorgon on Jan 10, 2007 4:10 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

LOL

"The other night I had a dream that I decided the next president with a flip of a coin. The coin landed on heads and an African American won. As the proclaimed, "Black President," how long do you think this dream will become a reality?"

hahahahahah good stuff. I bet many warriors fans(in my experience) didn't know that Arenas flipped a coin to decide whether he should go to the clippers or wizards.

by MVP on Jan 10, 2007 1:03 AM PST reply actions 0 recs

He's Got Game

baumerworld is always welcome here. His posts always crack me up. Lot's of creative insights and historical references. The man knows his hoops.

by Atma Brother ONE on Jan 10, 2007 10:48 AM PST reply actions 0 recs

I'm personally waitng for a post about...

David Wood and his crazy Porsche. He once came down to my school to talk to me and my classmates when I was in 6th grade during the 94-95 season. He answered questions and my particular question was who do you think has a bigger influence in the locker room as a coach, Don Nelson or Bob Lanier (Then and forever a GREAT THINKING Warriors FAN!). He answered that it was a tough question because Lanier had only coached the W's for like one month at that point and that soon enough everyone would move on from Nellieball. One other thing that I remembered was his incredibly beautiful (although I skeptically say paid) girlfriend and his Porsche. Maybe this will be in discussion after.

by mightymadskillz on Jan 10, 2007 1:09 PM PST reply actions 0 recs

agree with spirit

yea, this dude isnt funny at all

but whatever

by jrizzle on Jan 10, 2007 6:45 PM PST reply actions 0 recs

I'm with Spirit too...

I personally read this site to communicate with others and to understand what other are writing in their blogs. Unfortunately, I don't stand what Baumer is talking about and I vow never to read another one of his posts 4ever. On that note I encourage him to write whatever he wants and anyone else who thinks his writing doesn't make a lick of sense, don't read it, and if didn't read it yet and just scrolled down to this post, BE WARNED. Or he could explain himself and maybe open himself to wider audience?

by ZEROrebounding on Jan 10, 2007 7:49 PM PST reply actions 0 recs