The Bloggers' Bidding War for Kevin Garnett: Bring KG to the Bay!

If you're a real hoops fan, then you're already on board the Free KG Movement. After what will most likely be 3 straight playoff-less seasons in a league where over half the teams make the NBA's Sweet 16, Kevin Garnett and the Minnesota Timberwolves need to part ways like Beyonce and Jay-Z. (Seriously, how did this mofo end up with her? Oh well, major props to Jigga- there IS a god!)

Some of the finest folks in the blogosphere are doing a bidding war for Kevin Garnett to help clueless GM Kevin McHale decide where to trade The Big Ticket this offseason (more details to follow about the bidding war soon). With our usual undying love for the Golden State Warriors (aside from the clowns) and bad jokes, here is Golden State of Mind's 3 reasons why the Minnesota Timberwolves should move Kevin Garnett to the Warriors:

1. The pretenders can't throw up that W.
Let's take a quick look at some other potential suitors besides the Warriors for the services of KG and why they would be a disaster waiting to happen:

Boston Celtics: Unless KG feels like turning back the clock and trying to win an NCAA Championship in the near future, Boston and their annoying, sensationalized sports media would be an awful fit. Place this bet in Vegas- before the 2008 All Star break clueless GM Danny Ainge will find a way to move his 20-year-old-and-under version of the Celts from the NBA's Atlantic Division to the NCAA's Big East Conference.

Chicago Bulls: Um let's see, two straight years of losing in the first round of the NBA Playoffs? KG's been there, done that.

LA Lakers: Kobe + KG on the LA Fakers? On paper it sounds great, but do you actually think clueless GM Mitch Kupchak (the NBA has its fair shair of awful GM's) could pull this off? I'll bet you Andrew Bynum's last Twinkie that Cupcake secretly thinks that Kwame Brown in his prime will be better than Garnett.

New York Knicks: Actually I'll be perfectly honest, KG on the Knicks makes a lot of sense. A Starbury-KG reunion tour in The Big Apple with Isiah Thomas' underrated coaching and roster (although vastly overpaid) is a legit contender to come out of the Leastern Conference. Getting out of the Western Conference Playoff Bracket is going to be about the last team standing after the massacre, so a well-rested KG Knicks could actually win it all. PLUS, Isiah and bottomless pockets Dolan are sure to ink Garnett to the NBA's first ever 300 million dollar contract. So let's consider the Knicks a punt on this issue.

 

2. The greatest package ever assembled.
Quite frankly (Yo ESPN- bring back Stephen A's daily show!), Captain McHale and his sinking Titanicwolves' ship can do no better than trade for these three future NBA Hall of Famers:

ESPN's KG Machine
kg-warriors-trade.jpg

Adonal Foyle
Sure, he has career averages of 4.4ppg and 5.1rpg, but there's a reason Citizen Foyle has been the face of the Warriors' franchise for over a decade- and no it's not because of The Shot Heard Around the World.

foyle-read.jpg
Read to Achieve!

It's because the man is a glue guy that fully grasps that democracy does truly matter- every team needs one of those! Remember, the Warriors have never lost a playoff game with Adonal on the squad. He's just that good. Seriously, he's so good that the Warriors passed up the opportunity to land Jordan and Pippen 2.0.

Patrick O'Bryant
The Notorious P.O.B. has flat out dominated the NBA competition this season. He's been so good that Commish David Stern and Oakland's resident hoops expert Don Nelson decided that it was just unfair to see him single-handedly destroy NBA frontlines nightly that they sent him down to the D-League. In the D-League POB's learned some more BAAAD tricks from THE BEST.


As an added bonus POB will also bring the ladies to the Target Center in Minny!

Al Harrington
Al's only been with the Dubs for a few short months (Thank goodness for that heist of the Indiana Posers, see: The Warriors & Pacers Blockbuster Trade: Throwing Up W's and L's and A Reality Check on the Blockbuster Trade between the Warriors and Pacers), but TMNHarrington's quickly become a big fan favorite in the Bay Area.


Al Harrington: By day tweener forward for the Dubs, but by night he's a hero in a half shell!


Think this scouting report of Adonal Foyle, Patrick O'Bryant, and Al Harrington is a little questionable? Who cares? We're talking about Kevin McHale here! Don't forget- the Warriors may have wasted one lottery pick on Joe Smith, but McHale wasted five!

Look, if the Timberwolves' fans (yes, all 3 of you) aren't happy about this trade we might be persuaded to throw in a Warrior Girl or two to seal the deal... actually, on second thought I don't think so. Their excellence has been the one constant for this pitiful franchise.

 

3. KG would love the Yay Area and the Yay would have nothing but love for him.
In the end it all really boils down to what makes Kevin happy and you can bet your last Cabarkapa that KG would be extremely happy in the Bay Area. I'm not even kidding:

a) KG and Nellieball are a match made in heaven.
Warrior head coach Don Nelson is a hoops innovator who plays by his own rules. The man loves small ball and if elephant killer Earl Boykins was still on the Warriors, you can bet Nellie would try to play him at Center at least once during theseason.

KG is a hoops freak. He likes to says he's 6'12, but the funny thing is he can handle the rock and drop dimes better than many Point Guards in the league. Plus, Garnett has some nice range on his jumper and great footwork. If you thought Nellie letting Manute Bol drain shots from downtown was fun(ny), then wait till you see what he'll do with KG.

nellie-fight-the-power.jpg
With KG on the Warriors, Nellie is ready to FIGHT THE POWER!
(Photo by Rocky Widner/NBAE via Getty Images)

b) KG Loves India and the Bay = India Central.
It's no secret that KG Loves India and the Bay Area is filled with Indians from the North, South, West, East, and everyone in between. Whether KG's in the mood for a little South Indian favorites like dhosa, idli, and sambhar from Updupi Palace and Saravana Bhavan or some North Indian flavas from the tandoor via Pakwan and Shalimar, the Bay's got the man covered.


KG's replica Taj Mahal crib right off 880 South in Fremont.

c) NBA Champs 2008-2012.
Boom Dizzle + JRich + Jax + KG + Andris + Ellis to the Rim + Barnes Baby! + Kabuki = Fun Police 2k8. Throw in a little Yi Movement and the Warriors are absolutely golden for a 4 straight titles. Oh what the heck? Make it 12 straight titles. Warriors Nation deserves it after The Dirty Dozen (Part I | Part II | Part III).

 

KG Throwing Up That W?

kg-warriors-jersey.jpg

UNSTOPPABLE BABY!


Epilogue: Help Kevin Garnett Find the Warriors

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