The Report Cards are Coming! The Report Cards are Coming!

by Atma Brother ONE on Jun 15, 2007 12:54 AM PDT in Hype

Just a quick heads up that after almost as much delay as Windows Vista (well okay, not THAT much delay) the sizzling hot 2006-2007 GSoM Report Cards are set to start dropping early next week. It's going to be a great time out!

If you've never peeped a GSoM Report Card for the Golden State Warriors, then you're in for a treat better than anything you've ever gotten at Halloween. Roll on over to the midterm report card that Fantasy Junkie dropped earlier this season as well as the report cards from last year's painful drought x12 season.

2005-2006 Report Cards from the GSoM Vault:

This year's report cards are going to turn this mutha out like MC Hammer. We got insights. We got jokes. We even got some friends from the mighty blogosphere along for the ride, namely the always sharp Adam Lauridsen from Fast Break and the stylin' fellas from Fear The Beard. Oh and did I mention we got jokes?

U Can't Touch these reports cards!

Coming to a web browser near you next week... don't sleep!

(And yes, it's about damn time.)

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my report card with no explanations

and missing players

baron davis- A
jrich- A-
Jax- A-
Al Harrington B
Biedrins- A-
Monta Ellis- B+
Matt Barnes- A-
Pietrus- B-

by djchuckdeez on Jun 15, 2007 2:47 AM PDT reply actions

A, A,-, A- , B, A-, B+ ??

WTF, I wanna go to that school! Everyone on the whole team is above average. What grade do you give Tim Duncan then? A triple AAA?

by Skeptic con Urquell on Jun 15, 2007 2:44 PM PDT up reply actions

I had my pretend TA do these

* Troy Murphy (Incomplete) - D before moving on to IND

* Chris Mullin and Rod Higgins (B) Above average for sure

* Mickael Pietrus (C-) Too inconsistent for me

* Zarko Cabarkapa (N/A) "Bueller?"

* Monta Ellis (A-) Improve the handles, passing, and court vision and I'll give you a gold star

* Don Nelson (A+) Lover of dogs and fine beer

* Jason Richardson (B+) Injuries brought his grade down but he's a Warrior thru and thru

* Andris Biedrins (B+) 2 words: Strength and conditioning

* Baron Davis (A) Wanted to give him the plus but the Bugs Bunny clapping imitation hurt him

* Ike Diogu (Incomplete) See Murphy, only lower BBall IQ

* Chris Cohan & Robert Rowell (F) Don't expect these 2 to make valedictorian any time soon.

* Adonal Foyle (D-) Only got extra credit for being so darned nice and for loving democracy....it matters.

* Mike Dunleavy (Incomplete) But I still want to fail you. YOU SUCK!

* Warrior Girls, Thunder, ETC. (A) Although when they show just the Warrior Girls' eyes on the wrap around screen at the arena, it kind of creeps me out. And I miss the Weekend Warriors and the inflatable Thunder who bops peoples heads with his own

by Tony Stark on Jun 15, 2007 10:43 AM PDT reply actions

Oops

Forgot the new guys:

* Al Harrington (B-) Rebounding skills minimal for a 4

* Steven Jackson (A-) Nice combo of grit and skill. Probably the best grade he's ever gotten in his life.

* Sarunas Jasikevicius (C) He's no Marciulionis, but with those cheerleading skills he could have a future with the Warrior Girls

* Josh Powell (C+) Looked promising but not enough of a sample size

by Tony Stark on Jun 15, 2007 10:57 AM PDT up reply actions

Doh!

Matt Barnes, you get an A for kicking butt and taking names, and for me forgetting you on BOTH posts. Why no edit button here guys?

by Tony Stark on Jun 15, 2007 10:59 AM PDT up reply actions

Foyle's grade

Foyle didn't get an incomplete? He barely played, but when he did, he was actually significantly better than he's been in the past. Sure, I don't think he can keep it up for longer and he's really not part of the team's plans (and he's certainly overpaid, though that shouldn't affect his grade--it's not his fault that management was stupid) but when he was in, he wasn't that bad. He was an adequate rebounder, got back to the shot blocking level he had several years ago, more than doubled his assists per minute played without increasing his turnover rate, and had his best year shooting from the floor.

He certainly didn't play enough to warrant a better grade, but if he wasn't as bad as he had been in the previous couple of years, it's an incomplete if ever there was one.

by jae on Jun 15, 2007 11:13 AM PDT up reply actions

Solid point

And well taken. I was only handing out incompletes to guys who were traded mid season. I don't knock him for his paycheck either...if you can get it, get it big fella. His slow play doesn't fit in here so grading him based on his performance on this team and it's style of play. If he played for, say San Antonio, he probably would of fared much better.

by Tony Stark on Jun 15, 2007 11:59 AM PDT up reply actions