2k6-2k7 REPORT CARD: Zarko Cabarkapa

by Atma Brother ONE on Jul 21, 2007 10:05 AM PDT in Report Cards

Who was the most consistent Warrior this past season? Was it Boom Dizzle when he was healthy? Was it Monta aside from the playoffs? Was it Andris before Nellie decided to go smaller than small down the stretch? Was it the solid Matt Barnes?

More bang for your cabarkapa!

Well, my vote goes to the Zark-man himself. Before you throw up all over your cabarkapa make the jump to check out why and see the rest of his 2006-2007 GSoM Report Card.

Just take a look at the numbers he put up this past season:

[Yahoo! Sports NBA]

You knew exactly what you were going to get from him night in and night out.

You know we really could've used this guy... well, okay probably not.
[PFortyy]

Adam Lauridsen (Fast Break)

Grade: F
Zarko really gets an incomplete, since you can't fail if you don't show up. He had about the worst contract year possible and it's unclear at this point whether he'll be in the NBA next year. A missed opportunity given that his multi-skilled game could have thrived under Nellie. At least he was around to keep his best friend Andris happy during his break-out year.

Fun Score: 2
You get a bonus point in my book if your name starts with Z.

Atma Brother #1

Grade: F
It's too bad the Zark-man had to sit out the entire season because of injury. I'm still curious to see if he's a good fit for Nelliball, but not curious enough to hope that the Warriors extend a qualifying offer to him. I have to say I do feel disappointed that the Warriors never teamed up Zarko and Darko. RIP Zarko Cabarkapa's NBA career... RIP Zarko Cabarkapa's NBA career... RIP Zarko Cabarkapa's NBA career...

Fun Score: 3
His name provided a few bad jokes throughout the season.

DJ Fuzzylogic

Grade: F
My grade for him is really incomplete but since there wasn't an option, i just gave him the F. I was pretty enamored with his skillset when we first obtained him, thinking we got Dirk-lite. Zarko just hasn't panned out and i'm kind of surprised he's still around.

Fun Score: 4

Fantasy Junkie

Grade: D
Who? This guy looks like the missing link.

Fun Score: 1

Hash

Grade: D
Who?

Fun Score: 3
Because I saw him at a game wearing a pretty pimp suit. He gets at least 3 for that.

YaoButtaMing

Grade: F
I’ll give Zarko the same line I gave him last year since he did as much this year as he did last year. -Who's wearing their Cabarkapa? Hopefully not the warriors next season!

Fun Score: 2.5

Overall Grade: F+

Also see Zarko Cabarkapa's 2005-2006 GSoM Report Card

The Warriors did not end up extending a qualifying offer to Zarko earlier this offseason. (Tell me you weren't a little worried Chris Mullin was going to try to give him a max contract!) Given his injury history and dismal NBA career thus far I'd be surprised if he's in the NBA next season. Regardless, all the best to the man wherever he winds up!

The way Zarko's career ended with the Warriors really parallels how the Sopranos ended.

What do you think is lined up next for Zarko? European hoops star? European thespian? Sub for Jay Leno on the Tonight Show?

What will he do for an encore?

2006-2007 GSoM Report Cards

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Comments

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

How I remember Zarko last season... The dude was never suited up! He had the best seat in the House!

by Tony.psd on Jul 21, 2007 10:33 AM PDT reply actions

Yes

every time we lose a player, we lose a priceless personality...even if on the bench.

Did he actually ever have a huge "Z" belt buckle? Just curious, as that would be awesome.

Tony aka Drawlz600 is AWESOME!!!!

by Zorgon on Jul 21, 2007 1:03 PM PDT up reply actions

Foyle is the greatest

that picture with Adonal "Aluminum" Foyle should be on the front page. It should replace one of those KG or Yi pictures.

by Aluminum Foyle on Jul 22, 2007 2:37 PM PDT up reply actions

The Adonal Foyle Movement?

People might think it means a trade for our boy Foyle though.

by back2back51s on Jul 23, 2007 9:35 AM PDT up reply actions

Can we still sign him on as a Minimum contract

at some point? To be honest, I'd rather have him then a crappy Perovic. 10 PPG or so in Euroleague? Give-me-a-break.

His game would fit in Nellieball pretty well, and we can definately use him at any time Biedrins or KG is injured.

Tony aka Drawlz600 is AWESOME!!!!

by Zorgon on Jul 21, 2007 1:01 PM PDT reply actions

If resigned, he's on the list.

No question.

Tony aka Drawlz600 is AWESOME!!!!

by Zorgon on Jul 21, 2007 1:04 PM PDT up reply actions

oh well

I honestly thought he'd be a good fit for our system now. Maybe his back was just that messed up.

I'm gonna miss seeing him around. He lived on the 23rd floor of my building and we'd see him every so often. Oh well. . .

by mojo X on Jul 21, 2007 2:30 PM PDT reply actions

I like it

Funny how Zorgon is talking about the team as if KG is already on it. Somebody needs to slam a frying pan on his head. Just kidding, but seriously...

by saintfloppy on Jul 21, 2007 9:02 PM PDT reply actions

Well

Anything to keep me from saying Brendan Wright.

Tony aka Drawlz600 is AWESOME!!!!

by Zorgon on Jul 22, 2007 4:20 PM PDT up reply actions

I've always called him...

Zarco Chupacabra. And, you DON'T wanna mess with a Chupacabra.

by Jeremy Belvins on Jul 22, 2007 1:30 AM PDT reply actions

Carbarkapa over Perovic?

Granted I do think Carbarkapa fits in better with Nellie's up and down game, let's see what Perovic has first before you call him a big stiff. If he can block shots like crazy and hopefully grab a couple of rebounds, maybe he can be a Manute Bol type. I do know 1 thing, he's probably better than Patrick O'Bryant.

by garlicboy on Jul 22, 2007 11:55 AM PDT reply actions

But...

He will never be better than the great Aluminum Tin Foyle

by Aluminum Foyle on Jul 22, 2007 2:39 PM PDT up reply actions

danny fortson....

runied that guys career after he cheap shotted him in pheonix and broke his wrist....he went from a promising young player, to an awkward, frightned pre-teenager...not a good luck, dre will miss ya tho zark, peace, dan

by BeLEGENDelliAllDay on Jul 27, 2007 4:34 PM PDT reply actions