Golden State Warriors High School Reunion

Several friends of mine have recently attended or plan to attend their 10 year high school reunions.  My high school (in the Bay Area) just sent me (living in Michigan) a small flier asking me to update them on my whereabouts and my general status.  Hmmm... what kind of wild stories can I come up with?  Pushing 6 figures (barely 4 in a real life)?  Jet-setter?  Dated super models?  Hmm that might not be so believable.  How about import car models?  Nah, how about i just tell them I drive an import car?  Now that sounds about right.  

Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed high school and have no reason to not be happy about what I'm doing (who else can say they co-run GSoM? ha!) but why not make the reunion THAT much more outrageous?

My thinking more and more about high school was further jumpstarted by the fact that there were tons of high school flicks running on cable tv and the local public access channel in these parts of Michigan have been broadcasting and RE-RUNNING recent high school graduations!  I don't know what was more silly, actually broadcasting them or the fact that I actually paused to watch some of it.  At any rate, I began thinking of all the high school archetypes/stereotypes that existed high school and wondered which player on the Warriors could embody these usual (high school) suspects.  Based on the limited knowledge of what we know about the Warriors on and off-court personalities (sans the generic stereotypes we hear about them in the media), do you imagine Monta kicking it with you or stealing your tator tots (that never actually in my high school, at least not that I remembered)? Who REALLY was Zarko besides the guy who chilled at the end of the bench?  

Disclaimer: Granted, I went to a school in the 'burbs of the East Bay with it's own unique demographics; so, it DEFINITELY won't apply to all (or most?) scenarios.  Also, these high school-types are definitely gendered as male.  I tried as hard to make them as gender, race, sexed-neutral as possible, but that's a crazy impossible task.  I can just ask you to  please keep that in mind. 

So here's to the recent high school grads (2007)!  Congrats on finishing this stage in life and best of luck in the next!  Maybe one day, you, too, can help lead one of the best sports blogs in the world (tons of sarcasm)!

 

The Do-it-all (for lack of a better name) = Baron Davis
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This smooth talker ended up going to Stanford on the show!

Ditty was probably that charming dude with the beautiful friends (read: Jessica Alba) who was a multisport lettering jock (including band!); was seen hanging out with all sorts of circles from the athletes to the mathletes; was class president 2 years in a row; and was committed to community service!  S/he was voted "most likely to be famous," but you didn't doubt it.  If there was an equivalent, I would say it Zach Morris of Saved By the Bell meets Will Smith from Fresh Prince.

 

Class clown = Mickael Pietrus
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The Neanderthal version of Teen Wolf!

Who else could it be but Pietrus?  For some reason this student was in all the smart classes but absolutely had no clue what was going on.  Half the time you never knew what s/he was saying but the diversions from Spanish class were definitely welcomed.  Went to prom solo rockin' an all-white, powder blue, or purple velvet suit a la Prince and probably did a weird dance that for some reason everyone else started doing too with him/her.  Oh wait, I think this came from Encino Man, too. 

 

The Loner = Monta Ellis
I know I said I wouldn't by into the media mumbo jumbo, but Monta Ellis' aloof and nonchalant body langauge on the court (along with the crazy acne) leads me to believe s/he's that weird kid that sort people were skeptical about.  Usually sat in the back of the class rocking a Pantera t-shirt and black wrangler jeans, muttering unintelligible song lyrics (something like Insane Clown Posse) or bunch of randomness that people assume are the hymns from the book of satan.  Years after graduating, this person ends up being a model or in some capacity in the fashion world.  

 

The Theater/Drama Kid = Al Harrington
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Hip-hop ballet fusion was interesting, but are the faux braids really necessary?

Al Harrington best typifies this stereotype in my mind.  Part time jock, full-time thespian.  Starred in many plays, probably something Shakespearian or the other high school staple, "Our Town."  An amazing dancer of various styles.  The movie equivalent?  Julia Styles character from "Save the Last Dance" (but less annoying and weird looking).

 

The Bully = Stephen Jackson
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Complex and complicated, their mystery makes them appealing

You simultaneously feared Jax but wanted to be his friend.  Often misunderstood and socially profiled because he used to fight with kids in elementary school and middle school.  Relatively quiet dude that leans up against lockers focusing on what's coming through his headphones more so than the social scene around him.  Gets respect and as loyal a friend as they come; willing to scrap if it comes to.  Real dreams?  To be an artist.  Movie equivalent has to be Rashad from ATL (T.I.'s character).

 

The Momma's Boy = Patrick O'Bryant
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The poor guy that everyone wants to wedgie or melvin

Patrick O'Bryant is sorta the invisible kid that's experienced the worst of puberty.  Socially and physically awkward, his mom packs his lunch (I wish my mom would pack my lunches now though... it takes forever!), takes and picks him up from school everyday, and dresses him.  A bright and friendly kid that enjoys Japanese Anime but remains relatively invisible to his peers.  Equivalent: Martin from The Simpsons

 

The Wanna-be Politician =Adonal Foyle
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Uptight but friendly, this person tries hard to schmooze

Foyle could be reached at Debate team meetings, rotary club events, or maybe even kicking it with the Young Republicans. In high school, Foyle wanted to end global warming but has eyes set on campaign-finance reform.  Classes tended to be quite irritating with him/her just because they tended to talk a lot and sometimes off topic.  Equivalent?  Carlton Banks from Fresh Prince.

 

The "Indie" Kids
Cabbages and Biedrins were those kids.  No, not just because they're international players and because "Indie" kids were nonconformists and "alternative."  Biedrins' goofy game and always perfectly gelled hair (during games at that!) along with Cabbages' endless excitement reminds me of the rock/indie kids that were pretty musically talented, somewhat stylish, and just relatively decent people that were pretty unbiased and nonjudgmental about anything that wasn't music.


These are just a few general characters that I could think of and there are probably quite a few more that I didn't think of.  I wasn't able to get through all the Warriors but tried to stick with the ones I thought that seemed to have the most striking personalities.  

Do any of the Warriors resemble general cliques of your high school experiences?  Drop em' in the comments!

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