We as a Nation of Fandom do hereby Proclaim the Following, erm... Proclamation:
WHEREAS the Western Conference of the NBA is the most competitive league in all professional sports and
WHEREAS the Eastern Conference sucks and
WHEREAS this imbalance has not been addressed by the league itself, it now must reside in the hands of a popular movement and
WHEREAS the Oaktown Warmonsters are among the furthest west geographically of all teams, it follows that they are therefore, on a spherical globe, also among the easternmost. As such, it wouldn't be any skin off anyone's nose if they traded places with, say, Miami, and made everybody happy.
Preposterous, you say? Impossible? Never going to happen? Where are the Lakes in Los Angeles? Where the Jazz in Utah? Where the Knickers in Manhattan?
We would get to at least the second round in the East. Baron would be a perennial All Star. The entire benighted Eastern Seaboard would learn the greatness of all-offense-all-the-time. Love would blossom across the land.
A petition is in order, as the only coherent response to the end of our legendary season. A team who finishes 13 or 14 games above .500 deserves by every reasonable definition of playoff competition in any sport to attend those playoffs.
We'll gather half a million signatures and hang them from the Oracle. We'll charter all of our team flights ACROSS the Pacific eastward so as to bolster our argument. Or we'll just turn our backs on the entire American deal and join a new Pacific Rim league with the Shanghai Sharks and play all our games in Hawai'i.
SOMETHING MUST BE DONE!!
SIGN THE PETITION!