Dont's (and a few do's) of the NBA draft

Sure, every prospect has been scrutinized, poked, questioned, analyzed, badgered like a piece of meat for sale in the wet markets of Manila by every scout. GM, coach, or every tom, dick and harry who cares enough about basketball. But still, year after year theres always those that never pans out and unfortunately for us warrior fans, it always seem to be those who get picked by those braniacs who has offices in the Oakland Alameda Arena.

With these few dos and dont's hopefully the chances of us landing the next Todd Fuller would be minimized to an absolute zero.. (sure there are exceptions but are you willing to risk it?)

- Don't draft anyone whose last name consists of more than 9 letters, cannot be spelled by an indian kid in the scripps spelling bee, or has more vowels than consonants. See: Olowokandi Michael, Podkolzkikinin Pavel, Bargnani Andrea, (a double no-no with a girls name to boot), Tsikitsvilllllli Skita, Jaskiveciicicicius, Andruiskevicicicus etc etc.

- Don't draft anyone whose name resembles that of a cartoon, (Speedy), a combination of crappy cars, (vonteego) or something derogatory (bimbo). Note: misspelled first names are ok though such as Antawn, Bryon (russell) or Jerryd.

-Keeping with the NBA marketing theme of There can only be one...........THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE KOSTA PER TEAM.

- Don't draft anyone who checks the box "white" on census forms or job application forms 1-2 or 3. See: Dunleavy Mike, Ferry Danny, Morrison Adam, Laettner Christian

- Although important, don't give too much weight on character issues, a bigger red flag should be those prospects who score 1000000000 on their SAT's or has a 4.0 GPA.  This only means one did not work on getting to the NBA but NASA. See: Fuller Todd, Foyle Adonal

-Don't draft anyone who likes to go to, or can point  to a map Bakersfield, California.  Enough Said.

- Don't draft a coach, executive, gm, or former player's kid.  More often than not, all the good basketball genes were all given to the father, and the kid only has some miniscule remnant of it.  See: Barry Kids, Ferry Danny,(again) Walton Luke, Dunleavy MIke (again!), Karl Coby. Noteable exception of course is Chokey Bryant.

- Yes you cant teach height but a stiff is a stiff is a stiff. See: O'Bryant Patrick.

- Do practice extreme caution in drafting foreign players, UNLESS its for Courtney Lee's teammate Japeth Aguilar

-Don't allow Michael Jordan to be within 100 miles of a team's draft room.

-Do trade the draft pick if for some reason Alcohol is flowing in the draft room where you have a beer guzzling coach and a recovered alcoholic for a GM.