The Warriors as Simpsons
by Dubs fan in Boston on Oct 30, 2009 12:40 PM PDT
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So, I was thinking about how Jax was kinda like Sideshow Bob from the Simpsons. You know, he was a good, pretty amusing character, but a bit player. Then he got tired of the same old, same old, and became a villain and a menace. Then I got to thinking, Monta as Bart, Cohan as Mr. Burns... it really kinda fits.
A pretty amusing character, but a bit player. Then he got tired of the same old, same old, made some stupid decisions, and became a villain and a menace.
Umm, yes Monta, you did lie to us. You're a bit of a bad seed at this point, but your heart's generally in the right place, and you're really good at what you do, even if what you do doesn't include the fundamentals. Keep doing what you do, stop being a punk, and the success will come.
He likes crappy beer, he's kinda pudgy, often says and does things that make you say "Whaaaa...?!?!?" He's the father of our little organization. He's supposed to take care of things, but eventually just makes them spin more and more out of control.
Monta's younger, but brighter sibling. He's positive, but a little insecure. When something isn't right (like the Warriors not getting to the playoffs), he takes it personally, and tries his darnedest to fix it. He may not be ready to tackle every problem, but he sure looks like he'll get there sooner rather than later.
The baby of the bunch. He hasn't had time to prove much of anything, but he's walking before anybody thought he could, and looks cooler than the other side of the pillow. He still falls down regularly, but he always gets up and keeps trying. Bart's understandably jealous of the attention Homer and Marge give to little Maggie and Lisa.
The Fans
via lh5.ggpht.com
We unconditionally love our babies, I mean Warriors. And usually we love our Nellie, but... sometimes they royally piss us off. In which case, we can get a little... knife-y, shall we say. But we always return to that state of unconditional love. Always.
Pessimistic Fans
You know who these two are, they're always there to push Marge's buttons, tell her how awful her husband & children are. If only she would stop listening to them... but unfortunately, sometimes they're right.
via www.progets.com
Always pleases when he's on screen or in the game. Always fun to watch... but you get the feeling that if he was always in the game, he wouldn't be able contribute consistently like he does as a quick burst of energy.
You know what you're gonna get with Krusty, a few gags, Sideshow Mel getting embarrassed, some smoking, and a "Ga ga ga ga gah!" Krusty's all about getting his at the expense of others. Is it effective? Yeah, usually, but it's not the kind of funny you really enjoy watching. You want some teamwork, some depth in the comedy. Instead, you get "lots of scoring and penetration," but little else and not much teamwork.
Without Millhouse, Bart's just not Bart. Millhouse is a constant, and useful, but overlooked contributor. Like Biedrins, he's always on the lookout running defense while Bart is making interesting things happen. Millhouse always let's Bart take care of his thing, always gets a laugh when he gets the chance, but he's a pretty limited character.
The Lakers
via www.foxflash.com
Jimbo comes from a well off family, his mom is a well known... lady of the night, and he regularly beats on Bart. Yep, that sounds like the LA Lakers.
Tim Kawakami
He's just a douche. He talks smack, keeps his nose in the air, and makes wild proclamations about whatever he likes. Sometimes he's right, but he's always just a douche.
Chris Cohan
Notice the syringe, gun, and axe? Yeah, that's how we feel about this guy. This is the guy operating the Nuclear Power plant that is the Warriors organization. He never hires the right people and all he cares about is the money he makes off his business. Get rid of him. Which brings me to my favorite Warriors/Simpsons parallel...
Robert Rowell
Seriously, how did this guy get his job? By just sucking up to Cohan? Does he do anything useful except for occassionally yell at people and get insecure about his position and exert his meager power inappropriately? He doesn't seem to have any remotely positive effect on the Warriors, so you wonder how he keeps his job. I wouldn't be remotely surprised if he turned into a snake and ate Cohan's corpse after Cohan died...
So there, thanks for reading through it. Any other parallels you see?
This FanPost is a submission from a member of the mighty Golden State of Mind community. While we're all here to throw up that W, these words do not necessarily reflect the views of the GSoM Crew. Still, chances are the preceding post is Unstoppable Baby!
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Great Simpsons piece!
From the vault
Golden State Warriors High School Reunion
Golden State of Mind :: Always keeping it... "Unstoppable Baby!"
by Atma Brother ONE on Oct 30, 2009 12:49 PM PDT reply actions
Nice job!
I especially liked your blurb and choice of image for ‘The Fans’. Levity is always appreciated.
Re: Tim Kawakami
Except that Comic Book Guy always has his facts straight.
I give pressure the reach-around.
by bloodsweatndonuts on Oct 30, 2009 1:22 PM PDT reply actions
I think it works great,
my favorite comic book guy moment is when he tries to sell Bart a ‘rare picture of Sean Connery signed by Roger Moore’ that describes Tim K perfectly.
Thing B
by warriorsscore110 on Oct 30, 2009 3:35 PM PDT up reply actions
That’s awesome.
I give pressure the reach-around.
by bloodsweatndonuts on Oct 30, 2009 4:20 PM PDT up reply actions
Hilarious!
These are dead on, but I actually don’t think that Monta is jealous of Randolph. Also, Monta admitted that he likes Curry once he finally saw him play. The whole Monta/Curry thing was just Monta worrying about how they’ll play defense, since Monta will probably be guarding 6’6" shooting guards every game.
Formerly known as Five Ten Entertainment.
by Precise Films Productions on Oct 30, 2009 2:39 PM PDT reply actions
If you were Monta look at this timeline
2005 draft: You fell to the second round because of knee concerns.
Fall 2006: You lucked into an injured backcourt and got some serious PT to show what you could do.
Spring 2007: Your team made a good trade, your starting back court mates came back, but you’d shown well enough to keep getting PT
07-08 season: The team traded a stalwart in the offseason in part to give you more PT and be able to give you a sweet payday. You’re up and coming, you’re the next new great thing.
08 offseason: You get your contract, but while hanging out with your buddies back home, accidentally bust your ankle. Then, like a young guy worried about his newly signed contract, you told a little lie, which snowballed out of control resulting in you getting suspended and becoming persona non grata. Then when you finally come back, it’s all about this new rookie cat instead of you. Everybody’s fawning all over him. They still dislike you.
09 offseason: They draft another player at the position they’ve been trying to get you to the whole time. The coach loves the guy, the fans love the guy, everybody’s in love with the guy. You’re yesterday’s news. You’re no longer the expected focal point of the team.
Yeah, I’d be a little miffed, peeved, and jealous. Not unhealthily so, but jealous nonetheless.
You have been DFiBrillated.
by Dubs fan in Boston on Oct 30, 2009 6:23 PM PDT up reply actions
Randolph
Were people really saying that Monta was jealous of Randolph last season? If anything, i’d expect Monta to be happy that he has some teammates around him to help him out. I wouldn’t be thinking, “OMG Chris Mullin brought in a big man that looks like he can be the PF of our future, i’m pissed”.
And I wouldn’t worry about Curry. He’s just a rookie. The only thing i’d be pissed about is that he didn’t even play a single NBA game yet and people are already labeling him as the team’s savior. I wouldn’t be jealous, just amazed at how much hype someone can get. Like I said, Monta finally gave credit to Curry once he finally got to see him play against NBA competition (after the first preseason game). Monta got love for Curry, it’s just that he wanted to see him play before giving credit.
Monta never called out teammates before, never showed signs of hate. If anything he was just the type to believe that players should prove themselves before people can give them credit. Monta mentioned how when he first came into the league, Baron and Fish didn’t respect him until he stepped his game up and showed he can ball. That’s how he feels it should be.
Formerly known as Five Ten Entertainment.
by Precise Films Productions on Oct 30, 2009 8:59 PM PDT up reply actions
Excellent work DFiB,
I would go with Corey Maggette as this guy
Both are good at what they are supposed to do pour beer and make small talk or pretend to play d, rebound a bit, and play his typical black hole boulder charge to the basket. Its amazing that Moe got a bar seeing as he has no ambition or that someone handed Maggette 40 mil over 5 years. We wish they could do more, but they do enough to be semi useful.
Anyway I guess that would make me Selma or Patty, bitter moody and complaining about an unfixable situation. I guess thats ok.
Thing B
by warriorsscore110 on Oct 30, 2009 3:14 PM PDT reply actions
Try this:
Mikki Moore as Sideshow Mel
Likable but pathetic, both need to retire and find a new career path.
Larry Riley as Chief Wiggum
Congenial, but generally misguided and full of fuzzy logic.
Devean George as Blinky
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_D2zwjHf6Cd4/R5vypc7FzDI/AAAAAAAAAgo/6EXR8s3JFmI/s320/250px-Blinky.jpg
Both are the product of poor waste management.
Tom Abdenour as Nick Riviera
Bob Fitzgerald as Lionel Hutz
I hope no explanation is needed.
Jim Barnett as Kent Brockman
Ray Ridder as Principal Seymour Skinner
Obsessed with their image. Yes mother…
Frank Meuli as “Bleeding Gums” Murphy
It’s the soul, not the color.
Rusty Simmons as Flanders
Chris Cohan and Robert Rowell? Oh no hide the children!
by Nuck Chorris on Oct 30, 2009 4:47 PM PDT reply actions 2 recs
Here's Brandan Wright
Always sick and/or injured.
You have been DFiBrillated.
by Dubs fan in Boston on Oct 30, 2009 6:15 PM PDT reply actions 1 recs
lol good 1
wats that kids name?!! lol
by slackersphere17 on Oct 30, 2009 6:25 PM PDT up reply actions
This is really really good
Nice work man
We still believe!!
Become a fan on facebook! www.facebook.com/goldenstateofmind
Frank Grimes
And for all of you old-school Simpsons fans, how abut Chris Mullin as the infamous Frank Grimes, Homer’s ex-coworker who was driven crazy by Homer’s (Nellie’s) lazyness, apathy and stupidity. Remember when Grimes saved Homer from drinking sulfuric acid by knocking it out of Homer’s hand, but was blamed by Mr. Burns (Chris Cohan) for the subsequent hole in the wall caused by the acid? “Grimey” as Homer called him, was a scapegoat. He was also a hard-working employee whose demise was undeserved (Mullin). Grimey lived above a bowling alley, while Homer lived in a beautiful house (Maui for Nellie) earning a paycheck he surely didn’t deserve. Sounds a lot like Nellie to me.
by 1rabidwarriorsfan on Oct 31, 2009 5:41 PM PDT reply actions
Warrior fans outside Cohan and Rowell's office
by 1rabidwarriorsfan on Oct 31, 2009 6:38 PM PDT reply actions 2 recs
Amare, Gilbert Arenas, Elton Brand, and any other NBA star offered a Warrior contract
by 1rabidwarriorsfan on Oct 31, 2009 6:58 PM PDT reply actions
Hilarious!
I had to join this blog just to give props!
"I’m tired of hearing about money, money, money, money, money. I just want to play the game, drink Pepsi, wear Reebok." ~Shaq
by Max_in_Missouri on Nov 4, 2009 12:14 AM PST reply actions
Anthony Morrow is 'Bartman'
Not around too much, but when he does show his face, what out everyone this guy will steal the show!
Kelenna Azubuike The Forgotten Hero
Who is this guy again and where did he come from? He is not well known even by his family. He keeps coming back for more and provides dependable performances.
Anthony Morrow is 'Bartman' (correction)
Not around too much, but when he does show his face, what out everyone this guy will steal the show!
Chris Webber (Comeback Version)
Thought he could come back to continue where he left off with nelly, 15 years ago….guess he didn’t noticed he aged.
C.J. Watson - C'mon guys pick me!
Need I say more? 
Assistant Coaches Russ Turner and Keith Smart
They’re always hanging around Nellie (Homer). Not sure what kind of influence they have on him and vice versa.
by 1rabidwarriorsfan on Nov 7, 2009 11:57 PM PST reply actions
Quite a bit late
But very enjoyable Dubs Fan. One of the best fanpost’s Ive ever read anywhere. (And I’ve read alot of good one’s.)
No mistakes in the tango, darling. Not like life. Simple. That's what makes the tango so great. If you make a mistake, and get all tangled up, you just tango on.....
This was an incredible post and thread
Enjoyed every minute of it – twice!
Thanks for the great read.
SACTOWN ROYALTY - Try our thick creamy shakes!
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