OPEN THREAD: Game 3 - Warriors vs. Grizzles - This Sucks

Loading Scores

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Warriors: 0-2

Grizzlies: 1-3

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Editor's Note - Let's be real here.  This season is getting off to a terrible start, nothing seems to be working out, and nobody really wants to discuss our losing team.  Yes, we're playing the "lowly" Grizzlies, but let's remember that they beat us in EVERY game last year!  Don't believe me?  Check out herehere, and here.  So what if Rudy Gay didn't get an extension is now going to be an unrestricted agent at the end of the season?  Nobody wants to hear me break that down and our "potential" of getting him over here...Straight Outta Vancouver has that locked down.  Howza bout we all sit back, take a sip of that Golden Drink, and enjoy my silly creative writing?

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April 16, 2009

Disneyland, CA

 

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R Dizzle: So there it is - all done with the quest.  Not only have I been clever enough to find all the Warriors personel, but I ALSO found all of the GSoM homies.  Yes, I'm the hero for the day.  Ladies, the line starts behind Princess Jasmine (my one true love.)  Oh ya, and I'm the best at Kindgom Hearts!

Meanwhile at Frontier Land...

Chris Cohan: That R Dizzle thinks he's sooo funny calling us the bad guys.  What did WE ever do?  [If you REALLY want to know, check out hereherehereherehereherehere, and here - that's a lotta references to something so terrible)

Robert Rowell: Nothing!  We've always had the team's interest in mind, not our own!

Chris Cohan: Exactly.  I'm tired of getting a bad rep about everything.  We need to show the world what happens when someone criticizes us and I have just the idea.

Robert Rowell: Oh ya?  What's that?

Chris Cohan: You'll see....

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At the Airport

Pilot: Alright!  Everyone on board!  Let's get this show on the road and get the heck outta Laker land!

Chris Cohan: Sounds great...but hey R Dizzle, wait a minute.

R Dizzle:  What's up?  Still mad that I called you Jaffar?  Hahahaha!

Chris Cohan: No, no.  That was hilarious.  You know, Robert Rowell and I wanted to congratulate you for doing such excellent work this last season, covered some great moments and never criticized us.  And to reward you, we decided to get you a private plane home!  

R Dizzle:  Really?  That's awfully nice of you.  

Chris Cohan: No problem.  Enjoy this "special" Golden Drink too!  Mwahahahaha!

R Dizzle: ...what's with the evil laugh?

Chris Cohan: Umm...ignore that.  Have a good flight!

R Dizzle:  Thanks!  You're not so bad after all Chris Cohan!  (boards plane)

Robert Rowell: Where is he going?

Chris Cohan: Like I said, we need to make an example of him.  He's going to some place real cold....

Robert Rowell and Chris Cohan: MWAHAHAHAHA!

 

6 Months Later

R Dizzle: Man...that really knocked me out!  Wait..what the...where am I?  Why are there so many yellow shirts around me?  Am I in "We Believe heaven?"  

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Ok, ok.  Don't flip out.  Let's see...excuse me, sir?  What day is it?

Random Guy #1 - November 4th.

R Dizzle: WHAT?!?!  I've been out cold for 6 months?  How did I end up here?  WHAT'S GOING ON?

Random Guy #1 - Look, I don't even know who you are.  Stop being all crazy.

R Dizzle:  Right.  Ok.  I just woke up after 6 months...just calm down and do what you do first thing in the morning.  Check Golden State of Mind!

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Wait..this doesn't make any sense.  I've been out 6 months and I've been writing articles? 

Ok wait, hold up.  More importantly - where the heck am I?  And why is it so cold?  Why do I keep asking questions instead of finding answers?  Ok ok ok, let's just go to a sports store and check out jerseys and stuff.  That'll make this easy.  Let's see...a #25 yellow and blue jersey next to a Washington Bullets #5 jersey that says "Howard," a #5 yellow and blue jersey next to a #5 Nuggets jersey that says "Rose," and a yellow and blue #4 jersey next to a #4 Warriors jersey that says "Webber."  Rose...Howard...Webber...that's 3 out of the 5 Fab Five.  

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Wait a second...Fab Five..they played at Michigan...

OH.

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MY.

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GOD.

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Alright, don't trip.  You can find a way out of this.  Let's see...EMAIL!  That's the way to go!  There's gotta be some more information in there about how you ended up here.  Or at least what's going on with the outside world.  

Look at that 1,213,1231 unread messages.  Guess 6 months is a long time.  Wait..check this.  It's something from Chris Cohan and Robert Rowell...

Dear R Dizzle,

Hope you enjoyed that private flight!  Time to show you and the rest of the GSoM crew what happens when you start criticizing us about our front office.  We're sick of hearing your Mike Dunleavy jokes, your tears about Jason Richardson, your criticism of Marcus Williams, and worst of all, your infatuation with Rob Kurz.  Maybe this will teach you "jokers" a lesson!

Hope you enjoy the cold suckha!

Chris Cohan and Robert Rowell

 Wow..that wasn't very nice.  How cold is it going to get anyway?  Let's see Weather.com says that today it's going to...SNOW?!?!  WHAT THE....

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Ok, don't panic.  Let's look at the good here, you still have internetYou can get league pass on your phone.  You're finally miles away from that cheerleader.  You can still write for GSoM.  In fact, let's see when you have to do a preview and recap...look at that.  We're already at Game 3...and we're 0-2.  Great.  

GSoM Night 7 already happened? Even better.  

Well, since it's my turn to handle the preview...I should toss down some of my super accurate predictions.

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R Dizzle's Predictions

  • Warriors by 1
  • Monta Ellis with 20 points and 5 assists
  • Stephen Jackson with 20 points and 5 turnovers
  • Jamal Crawford with 15 points and 0 assists
  • Marco Belinelli with 10 points and 5 boards
  • Rudy Gay with 18 points
  • I cry because it's really really REALLY cold and the game is awful to watch
R Dizzle: Hey look...one last thing from that note from Cohan and Rowell.

P.S. You're now closer to Sleepy Freud!

 

THIS SUCKS.

 

 


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