Ryan Anderson – Starter

Not when Rashard’s back. They came into the year with Dwight and Rashard as their starting 4 and 5, Gortat and Bass as the backups and Anderson as the fifth big. If you want to call Gortat or Bass their fifth big, fine… they’re both damn good too.

Shelden Williams – Listed as first back up center, but he goes back to "5th big man" once Davis is back. He’s still not the last guy on their bench.

So exactly the same as Moore, then: fifth big, 12th or so on the roster. Mikki’s not the last guy on our bench. He’s ahead of Speedy, Law and George in the pecking order.

Taj Gibson – Listed as first backup PF, but has started 3 games.

Moore’s started also, but, fair enough. The Bulls’ fifth big is the injured Aaron Gray, who’s a country mile better than Mikki. The Bulls’ sixth big is James Johnson, who may never amount to much, but I’d certainly take him over Mikki.

Darnell Jackson – Legitimately their "5th big man," yet he’s a rookie who’s played 4 minutes in which went 0-2 and turned the ball over.

Not a rookie. He didn’t play much last year, as the team was deep and he was hurt… he didn’t play well last year, either. He played as well as Mikki, though, and he’s ten years younger and (slightly) cheaper. Who would you rather have, the crappy guy who’ll probably get better or the crappy guy who’ll probably get worse?

Tim Thomas – Listed as first backup PF, but has been injured

This one I may have fudged, in the sense that I counted Marion as a PF. They have been playing Marion at the four a good bit so far… once Gortat bailed on them, it was clear they’d play Dirk at the five and Marion at the four a good amount of the time. Nevertheless, we won’t count that. Their fifth big is then Kris Humphries, who’s a rock-solid bench player, and… you guessed it… runs circles around Mikki Moore.

Pops Mensah-Bonsu – Ligitimate "5th big man"

yep

Amir Johnson – Backup PF

My bad… I thought Reggie Evans was injured, when in fact I guess they’re just not playing him. So Evans is their fifth big, not Amir. Evans is a horribly, horribly flawed player, and in many ways even worse than Mikki. But he grabs a rebound 50-60% more often than Mikki. I know who I’d rather have.

(The other candidate for the Raptors’ fifth big is the infamous POB. Let the laughter commence… trouble is, by all available metrics, even Patrick O’Bryant is better than Mikki.)

Earl Clark – Legitimate "5th big man"

yep

So, the amended list: Brandon Bass, Shelden Williams, Aaron Gray, Darnell Jackson, Kris Humphries, Pops Mensah-Bonsu, Reggie Evans and Earl Clark.

I’m not convinced that any of the 4 guys (Williams, Jackson, Mensah-Bonsu, or Johnson) is any better than Moore right now.

I can’t prove you wrong on Jackson. I’d absolutely take the young guy, but it’s possible he’s not yet better than Mikki. As for the other three… well, I guess stats don’t prove you wrong, but according to any type of statistic you can find, they are better than Mikki. Not a little better, not moderately better… laughably better. A completely different tier of player from him.

Can you name a few more players that were, you know, actually available in August that would have been better than Moore? That’s really the issue.

No, this is the issue: why did the Warriors wait two months to sign a fifth big? Free agency started on the first day of July… the Warriors signed Mikki on the second day of September. In between, dozens of bigs changed teams. Many went for more money than we would’ve spent, and many went to better teams. But not all. The Rockets got David Anderson for a second-round pick and cash. The Hawks signed Joe Smith to a minimum deal, and it’s not like he thinks he’s going to get a ring there. The Hornets signed Ike Diogu to a minimum deal… laugh all you want, but he’s ten times the player Mikki is, and again, he didn’t go there to win a championship. That’s to say nothing of simply buying a second-round pick from a cash-strapped team and drafting a guy, the way the Spurs did with Blair.

You’re contending that the Warriors had to sign a crappy fifth big because logistics trapped them in a corner. That’s simply not true. They wandered willingly into that corner, by not bothering to take care of that position until all the credible talent was gone.

Do I actually have to look through the depth charts around the league for "5th big man" veterans?

Let’s do it.

Atlanta – Jason Collins

A horrible, horrible player. The rare player that’s definitively worse than Mikki Moore. But he’s not their fifth big, he’s their sixth. Their fifth big is Randolph Morris. Morris is also horrible, and quite possibly as horrible as Mikki. But at least they have two warm bodies to smack people instead of one.

Moreover, I’m not claiming that no other team has a fifth big as bad as Mikki. I’m claiming that the teams that do have fifth bigs as bad as Mikki are, like us, stupid.

Charlotte – Nazr Mohammed

A fading, overpaid player. Has historically been a vastly better player than Mikki, only dipping close to Mikki’s level last year, and he’s running circles around Mikki again so far this year.

Chicago – Jerome James

Their fifth big is Aaron Gray, and their sixth is James Johnson… Jerome James is their seventh big. He does suck, though.

Denver – Johan Petro (not to mention their #4 guy is Malik Allen)

K-Mart, Nene, Birdman, Balkman… Malik Allen’s their fifth. He and Petro do stink, and I think the Nugget’s financial inability to bolster their frontcourt depth will hurt them again in the playoffs. They have by far the worst deep bench of any team that seems to know what they’re doing.

Detroit – Kwame Brown

Punchline though he may be, Kwame Brown is much, much, much better than Mikki Moore.

And that’s just the first 5 teams I looked at that weren’t covered above.

Well, I’m happy to keep going if you like. So far we’ve covered thirteen teams… only three even plausibly have a fifth big as bad as Mikki, and two of those teams, the Cavs and Nuggets, play their star SFs at PF often enough that their need for a fifth big is lessened. (Smallball works a lot better with Lebron and ‘Melo than with Jack.) Moreover, both of those teams have been actively looking to upgrade their depth via trade. Only the Hawks seem as complacent about their horrible third-of-the-bench bigs as we are. And they haven’t actually had to use theirs yet, unlike us.

I expect better from you Owen. That performance was "unstoppable." Why not bring up Anthony Randolph’s 9/6 in that quarter as reason for why he’s so awesome (ignoring the putrid 1-9 shooting performance he put on in the first 3 quarters of the game)

Ha, it’s a fair point… my snark was perhaps unnecessary. But I do think that DeAndre Jordan is a genuinely promising young player, and already a vastly better player than Mikki Moore. Do you disagree?

Shelden Williams I’ll give you. We probably should have gone after him. But he’s never shot well, rebounds only half-acceptably, and is exactly the type of player that doesn’t really look like a fit for Nellie’s system.

Even at that, he’s always been much better than Mikki. And I don’t see Mikki as much of a fit for Nellie’s system either.

And if you’re Shelden Williams and you’re faced with "Sign with Boston to sit at the end of the bench for the vet minimum" and "Sign with Golden State to sit at the end of the bench for the vet minimum," you know exactly where he’s going. Why? Because Boston might win a championship this year… 3 years removed from Celtic fans saying "OMGWTF Danny Ainge is the worst GM in the world!" My point? You get a better team, then you attract better end of the bench talent. And GMs that look terrible one day may look rosy the next. It’s only the FO’s fault for not having a better team in the first place.

Now this is all certainly true. Talent begets talent. I agree.

But it wasn’t marquee value that put DeAndre Jordan on the Clippers, or Aaron Gray on the Bulls, or David Andersen on the Rockets, or DeJuan Blair on the Spurs. It was smart GMing. Those teams realized it was useful to stockpile bigs who could do a thing or two, and went out and got them, and have an edge over us as a result. Not every bench big is Antonio McDyess, a stud taking a pay cut to try to win a ring. A lot of these guys are very easily acquired by any team that takes the trouble to get them. Most teams do. We didn’t.

Show me someone who didn’t have better options that’s unequivocally better than Mikki Moore that was available for the veteran minimum in August.

I’d guess there are a number of players that are unequivocally better that you and I have never heard of… I don’t think NBA teams are so efficient at evaluating talent that there aren’t some viable bigs in the D-League or overseas that haven’t gotten a shot here.

But let’s even pretend those guys don’t exist. Let’s say that Mikki Moore was the best guy left available for the minimum on September 2nd. What does that tell you? It tells you you shouldn’t wait till September 2nd to sign a guy to fill out your frontcourt. The Warriors should’ve tried to buy a pick on draft night, or been more aggressive about trying to sign a better fringy guy, or been more energetic about trading for a fringy guy. Instead, they were lazy and uncreative, and as a result have had to put a horrible player on the floor for a quarter of their minutes so far.

In this young season, of the 250 or so guys that have played more than garbage minutes, Mikki Moore ranks as the worst player by far. He is by no means the reason we’re terrible. But his presence, and the thought process that led to it, are emblematic of why this franchise is in such miserable shape.