Warriors got jokes
by lightz0ut on Feb 9, 2009 12:29 AM PST
43 comments
So, I was gonna reply on NIICCEE's free tickets thread but I thought maybe I have enough material for a fanpost. Anyway, he was asking for the best jokes and I happen to think of some Warriors related ones (yes, I just came up with them!). Maybe you can too...
Just to be clear, for inevitable you're not a Warriors fan conment, I'm taking a "I hope the Warriors lose all their remaining games this season so we can actually have a shot at a top talent next draft instead of lingering around the middle getting skinny sky is the limit but has to start 90,000 feet under sea level potential forwards" stance this season. So I decided to make this season tolerable by having fun or rather making fun of the team. Next year, I'll be back to my old grumpy self.
Anyway, here's the funny and/or the unfunny....
Why did the chicken cross the road?
- Coz no one would pass the ball on the other side.
- It saw the Warriors train wreck coming.
- So [insert name here] can see it.
- To check Morrow and Randolph laying eggs on the Warriors bench.
- Because Jim Barnett wanted a two-for-one.
- Someone finally got the rebound.
How many Warriors does it take to run a fast break?
- Two. Just give it about 5 tries.
- Add two to the number of defenders. Then subtract CJ Watson.
- Stephen Jackson and a 3pt line.
How many does it take to screw a Warriors a fast break?
- One moped.
A guy walks into a bar...
- and Stephen Jackson loses his dribble.
- and Maggette will shoot two free throws
- gets wasted to death, comes to the Oracle Arena, and still manage to play ahead of Anthony Morrow/Randolph.
- runs into Mullin, and is now the Warriors head coach.
What did the nun say to Stephen Jackson?
- Next time get a tattoo of praying hands holding an ill-advised shot.
Why does it seem like the Warriors get so many bad calls?
- They only have two referees working the game most of the time. The other one is busy arguing with Stephen Jackson on the other end of the floor.
What's the difference between the Warriors and the economy?
- The first one can't rebound to save its life, you hope the next one rebounds so you can have a life
What is Stephen Jackson's least favorite animal?
- Zebras
What did the Zebra give Stephen Jackson?
- A technical
What is annoying, hilarious, stupid, delusional, imaginative, useless, a complete waste of time, I mean REALLY annoying, all at the same time?
- A GSOM trade idea fanpost
And finally, How much shots could Stack Jack chuck if Stack Jack could just chuck and chuck?
This FanPost is a submission from a member of the mighty Golden State of Mind community. While we're all here to throw up that W, these words do not necessarily reflect the views of the GSoM Crew. Still, chances are the preceding post is Unstoppable Baby!
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hah
this one would be funny if it wasn’t so true
Why does it seem like the Warriors get so many bad calls?
- They only have two referees working the game most of the time. The other one is busy arguing with Stephen Jackson on the other end of the floor.
by saintdee on Feb 9, 2009 12:33 AM PST reply actions 0 recs
Rob Kurz Facts?
Rob Kurz has range out to Club 200.
Rob Kurz doesn’t get subbed in by Nellie. Rob Kurz steps into the game when Rob Kurz wants to, godammit.
Rob Kurz can run the pick-and-roll… by himself.
Rob Kurz eats pieces of crap like you for breakfast.
Michael Jordan was really Rob Kurz with a tan.
by YaHeard on Feb 9, 2009 1:28 AM PST reply actions 0 recs
Rob Kurz eats pieces of crap for breakfast?
by HoLdEmUP on Feb 9, 2009 3:21 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs
yea yea
"Maybe I need somebody that can save me from the parts of myself that keep making me crazy" -Slug-
by drizztismoneybaby on Feb 11, 2009 7:44 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs
Coaches don't like Rob Kurz, they FEAR him.
Charles Barkley took his ques on guarding Shaq from Rob Kurz.
by Nuck Chorris on Feb 9, 2009 12:03 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
Rob Kurz gave Shaq all those Q’s
I see the future, and it is Pablo
by CB30 on Feb 9, 2009 9:13 PM PST up reply actions 1 recs
I haven't done these kinds of jokes since high school
- How do you know you’re playing for the Warriors?
You’ve been on the injury list.
Tonight’s a new starting lineup.
You make a shot, then you get benched for the rest of the game.
You don’t make a shot, and then you play 40+ minutes.
You’re not in any All Star activity.
- Why did Jackson pass up the shot?
It was the shot he was supposed to take.
- Why doesn’t Morrow have any blisters on his fingers?
They never pass the ball to him.
- How many basketball positions are there?
Six: point guard, shooting guard, small forward, power forward, center, and Rob Kurz
- What’s the best way for an opponent to get a stop on a Warriors possession?
Let Monta shoot it.
Let Randolph shoot it.
Let Jackson dribble it.
Let Maggette pass it.
Let Kurz have it.
- What’s the best part of Rob Kurz’s game?
He has six fouls to use on Shaq.
- ____________________________?
Rob Kurz
by IQofaWarrior on Feb 9, 2009 4:26 AM PST reply actions 0 recs
And finally, How much shots could Stack Jack chuck if Stack Jack could just chuck and chuck?
As much as I love Captain Jack, I really wish he would cough eherm, take less ill advised shots. Well here goes my take, don’t know whether or not if it’s funny:
Stack Jack would just chuck chuck chuck and chuck chuck chuck, until Coach Nellie told him he could chuck no more.
by p1noip0w3r on Feb 9, 2009 7:47 AM PST reply actions 0 recs
Actually...
that was pretty funny. There were a couple gems in there.
A guy walks into a bar…
- runs into Mullin, and is now the Warriors head coach.
Why does it seem like the Warriors get so many bad calls?
- They only have two referees working the game most of the time. The other one is busy arguing with Stephen Jackson on the other end of the floor.
What’s the difference between the Warriors and the economy?
- The first one can’t rebound to save its life, you hope the next one rebounds so you can have a life
Good stuff.
Thing 2
by olympicmike on Feb 9, 2009 12:27 PM PST reply actions 0 recs
..
I was gonna play at PF for my highschool team, instead I play the Rob Kurz position now.
" Yes.............No..............GOOGLE!"
by AlbinoWhale on Feb 9, 2009 4:00 PM PST reply actions 0 recs
I liked the Jim Barnett one
He says it every time
I see the future, and it is Pablo
by CB30 on Feb 9, 2009 9:14 PM PST reply actions 0 recs
If Robert Rowell and Chris Cohan jumped of a cliff, who would land first?
Who cares!!!
by MAZarate21 on Feb 10, 2009 10:30 AM PST reply actions 0 recs
Who’s the best warrior ankle breaker of all time?
- It’s a tie between tim hardaway and a moped.
Which warrior had the biggest shoes to fill in?
-The guy who replaced David Wood
How’s a warrior bandwagon fan like a gold digging girlfriend?
- They only like you and pay attention when they get what they want.
What do you do when Chris Cohan throws a pin at you?
- Start running because he has a grenade in his mouth
by MAZarate21 on Feb 10, 2009 10:52 AM PST up reply actions 1 recs
Q: If Rowell and Cohan's private plane crashed
Precisely on the border of the US and Canada, in which of the two countries would you bury the survivors?
A: You don’t bury survivors.
Oh wait … in this case, you do.
Thing 1
by Sleepy Freud on Feb 10, 2009 2:02 PM PST up reply actions 2 recs
If a tree falls on Robert Rowell and Chris Cohan in the middle of the forest does it still cause a sound?
Yes, a sigh of relief from millions. Probably causes a few sideshows as well.
by Nuck Chorris on Feb 11, 2009 9:57 AM PST reply actions 0 recs
Rob Kurz was born NBA game ready.
Rob Kurz doesn’t challenge shots on defense.
-He is judge, jury and executioner.
Rob Kurz didn’t split his chin on Randolph.
He was born with two chins, and Randoph found them.
When asked what his dream roster would look like, Coach Nelson responded,
“Rob Kurz times 12 with a scotch and soda on the rocks.”
Rob Kurz was the 6th man in “Space Jam.”
Rob Kurz does his own play-action telecasts.
Rob Kurz was once able to stare down Biedrins’ hair into the bowl cut he had his rookie year.
Rob Kurz is secretly the president and leader of the “Hyphy movement.”
by Nuck Chorris on Feb 11, 2009 10:36 AM PST reply actions 0 recs
That's enough Nuck
If anybody should know when that needs to stop, it’s you. It was funny when it was just Chuck Norris. When people started it with Tebow, it started getting old. When I saw “Patrick Willis Facts”, I cried. Yes, Rob Kurz facts are more in jest, but it has to stop, and it has to stop now.
"No no Nene!"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zB5DxNl4EB0
by Dubs fan in Boston on Feb 11, 2009 11:27 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs
Sorry it was a long boring class on tribal art in the Congo.
more specifically “Phallic Symbolism.” So yeah, I was willing to do anything to get my mind off of it. Again I apologize.
Tebow and Willis facts are lame.
by Nuck Chorris on Feb 11, 2009 12:32 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
Mmmm...
Phallic Symbolism. My favorite topic!
Rob Kurz doesn’t study “Phallic Symbolism”, “Phallic Symbolism” is the study of Rob Kurz!
Boo-YAH!!!
Sigh, OK, I’ll stop too. It is fun though…
"No no Nene!"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zB5DxNl4EB0
by Dubs fan in Boston on Feb 12, 2009 9:17 AM PST up reply actions 1 recs
Haha
That may be the best one yet…
Thing 2
by olympicmike on Feb 12, 2009 3:32 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
What did the nun say to Stephen Jackson?
- Next time get a tattoo of praying hands holding an ill-advised shot.
that was my favorite. lmao.
by jchao204 on Feb 11, 2009 11:16 AM PST reply actions 0 recs
my personal favorite as well
It will give some people a Huh? moment too. lol
by lightz0ut on Feb 11, 2009 8:34 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
Not really a joke but...
From the roots to branches to the leaves, they say apples don't fall far from the tree.
by V-TownDub on Feb 12, 2009 5:41 PM PST reply actions 0 recs
I got something funny....
I received a warning because apparently my diary should be a fanshot not a fanpost.
Does anybody really read the fanshots? Thank you.
by lightz0ut on Feb 13, 2009 2:09 AM PST reply actions 0 recs
What...
They didn’t boot it because it’d already received so many "rec"s?
"No no Nene!"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zB5DxNl4EB0
by Dubs fan in Boston on Feb 13, 2009 7:36 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs
Haha
Give me a break. Who looks “below the fold”. I know I don’t. This would be huge for a Fanshot. I think someone was bored.
Thing 2
by olympicmike on Feb 13, 2009 3:22 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
Are you sure you read the warning correctly?
I think what they probably meant to say is: “this fan should be shot for this post.”
Thing 1
by Sleepy Freud on Feb 13, 2009 3:44 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
Oaktown bringin its swagger back!
We will probably need to be patient and let this season play out.
-warriorsvictim
by warriorsscore110 on Feb 13, 2009 8:43 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
lmao@ sleepy
I should have been more clear. It’s a different diary.
I wrote something for the Amaretards…. lol.
Since so many people are and still will open a diary for an Amare trade proposal I thought they should keep in mind that, fabricated or not, rumours circulating on the net is that:
Portland supposedly offered Aldridge, Bayless, LaFrentz’ expiring for Amare while Memphis supposedly turned down an offer for Gay, Conley, Warrick in exchange for Amare.
It sounds bogus, but it at least says something clearly: Suns expectations are high.
So a package involving any combination of Maggette/Jackson/Crawford is not even on the same ball park.
Which means either accept this team and stand pat or prepare to give up Monta/Biedrins and possibly Randolph/Wright.
by lightz0ut on Feb 13, 2009 4:33 PM PST reply actions 0 recs
why
did Stephen Jackson get away shooting a gun at a car?
Because his back was to him and shot a fade away and missed.
So I don't have a signature well these words would do! Who knew that upgrades can have downgrades too!
by 24k state fan since 87 on Feb 14, 2009 1:35 AM PST reply actions 0 recs
The Warriors have been plagued by injury in their front office.
Apparently cases of Fecal Encephalopathy have ravaged the leadership for years.
by Nuck Chorris on Feb 14, 2009 2:34 PM PST reply actions 0 recs
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