Most Warrior's fans are pained by Corey Maggette's bad contract and the front-office-induced log jam. After losing Baron and Ellis last season, clearly the sadistic front office overpaid this injury prone, no-defense playing black hole, because of their interest in human suffering and not due to inconceivable stupidity, as some claim.

I would rather have a year sucked out of my life by this guy, than go through last season again.

via www.jimmyakin.org

While Maggette's offense might help some teams, we already have Jackson and Azubuike at SF. We're a poor passing team as it is and Maggette provides none! Miracle-worker Hollinger further explains why his presence represents a mostly dead acquisition:

...he often doesn't run back hard on defense, he gets lost on weak-side cuts, and in general you get the impression he's giving just enough [defensive] effort to ensure that he'll keep getting minutes and touches at the other end. Fortunately, that fits in with his new team's philosophy quite nicely.

Offensively, he only has one move, and nobody can stop it. Maggette will take the ball on the perimeter and make a hard right-handed drive to the basket, and he's so quick and strong that somebody will almost inevitably foul him. He's also a decent spot-up shooter with a line-drive shot, though not off the dribble. But all that contact at the rim inevitably takes a piece out of him -- he hasn't played more than 75 games since his rookie year and has missed at least 10 games in six of his eight seasons since.

We are essentially paying him a fortune, 9 million this year and an increasing amount for every year after, for nothing in return. He asked us to outrageously overpay him and our response was a sheepish, "As you wish."

What do we do? "To the pain!" sums up my feeling nicely, regarding my attitude about how to deal with the situation. In this case, "To the pain," has nothing to do with having our eyes, nose and limbs cut off, wallowing in freakish misery. It means we endure a sacrifice of something even more dear to us than even our perfect ears, a low-cost player with up-side. We must prevent the would-be long-term damage to our true love, the Dubs.

Here are some truly painful trades I came up with to get rid of Maggette, some more painful than others. In some cases, they'd have to throw a first-round draft pick our way as well, or we would never do it. Some of these are merely to torture you, and even our miserable vomitous-mass of a front office would not do this to us.

Trade 1

The Nets might take this, simply because their team is terrible, and they need a power forward. We get an expiring, cash and/or a 1st round draft pick in return. This is not called "Ultimate Suffering" for nothing! (For those who can't get the Trade Machine, this is Corey Maggette and Brandon Wright for an expiring B. Simmons).

Trade 2

These guys are anxious to make a trade. We may only have one guy we could throw in to make it worth their while. (We give up Maggette and Anthony Randolph for Carlos Boozer).

Trade 3

Brand didn't work out for the Sixers, but we don't want him either, as we're a run and gun offense. How about a three-way? A horrendously painful three-way. (The Sixers get Maxiel and Maggette; the Pistons get Brand and Golden Boy, Steph Curry. We get Hamilton).

Trade 4

No, I am not a sadist, so I included one that is not so painful... I didn't say it wasn't painful. (We get a semi-useful PF/C in D. Sangaila and an expiring Brian Cardinal for Maggette and one of our expirings).