...It went splendidly. Mr. Lacob proved to be a fair, if excitable, man, and the troupe general, the Honorable Reverend Mark Jackson, spoke in fantastical metaphors of men downed in hand-to-hand combat and grown chaps who run fugitive from their mothers. Reverend Jackson desired my services as a minder of the centered position after the unfortunate injury of Mr. Kwame Brown, a laggard cursed with the hands of a small child. According to the preacher, Mr. Brown required amputation of his arm after an intentional penalty, leaving Warriors with but a single man to mind the centered position. Warriors asked me to join them for the full campaign as they attempt to best troupes which cannot boast mother lodes beneath their courts. Or so I hope,—I have not yet been compensated for my services and can only hold illusions of my employer's largesse....
Read the rest of the story in the link. This may just be the best BDL article ever.
4 months ago
Evanz
20 comments
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Comments
I just read the entire article
If this is in fact real. Wow! I look forward to some post game interviews. That letter was unreal hahaha.
Pretty sure this is half joking..
Regardless, proper English is kind of an F U to American grammar. Hurt my head to read haha
pretty sure this is fully joking
verily
J-RIDAH: Its not 1 player in this draft better than Monta or Lee. Anthony Davis is no different than Al Farouq Aminu. Andre Drummond could be good but he is not impressive at this point at all besides his size. This draft is hella overated.
sounds like a bunch of nonsensical piratey talk to me.. >.>
aye, the waters of oracle roil the southern sea, while the lifeboat of the Barnes waits in our lee. We’ll make my lads by the 7th wave er the 8th will take us to davey jone’s grave.
Mirror on the wall
Here we are again.
by Skeptic con Urquell on Jan 18, 2012 11:12 AM PST up reply actions 2 recs
cack handed deck apes; we neednt the barnes in raisin the yarns , mutinous fellows blast by the bellows hide the maps to the charms!
by PIRATEWARRIOR on Jan 18, 2012 11:42 AM PST up reply actions
mutinous fellows blast by the bellows hide the maps to the charms!
you ole sot, the lout has stout when lithe need he be.
Mirror on the wall
Here we are again.
by Skeptic con Urquell on Jan 18, 2012 2:33 PM PST up reply actions
aH! ur right.. i didnt think of it that way.. good point.
by PIRATEWARRIOR on Jan 18, 2012 3:20 PM PST up reply actions
aH! ur right..
fie, grog all round , a loss was found in the backwaters of secaucus bay.
Mirror on the wall
Here we are again.
by Skeptic con Urquell on Jan 18, 2012 8:41 PM PST up reply actions
this is so good
rec’d
"I am very worried about the Warriors"
-brutusbrutus
by Duby Dub Dubs on Jan 18, 2012 3:23 PM PST up reply actions
*That* is well spoken.
(you guys do realize that the actual author’s name is at the top of the article, yes?)
Man - this kool-aid is really good! What did you put in it?
by FloorBurn on Jan 18, 2012 11:06 AM PST via mobile reply actions
the tales of this "Barron"
have echoes of Baron Munchausen’s accounts. sports fans, especially those who enjoy ranting on the internet, might benefit from understanding a little about Munchausen’s syndrome.
Music is the Healing Force of the Universe (a.ayler)
hahaha, ok, I looked it up
Munchausen syndrome is a type of factitious disorder, or mental illness, in which a person repeatedly acts as if he or she has a physical or mental disorder when, in truth, he or she has caused the symptoms
so…you’re telling me that their is no Warriors curse? The treadmill of mediocrity is not an actual disease?
"I am very worried about the Warriors"
-brutusbrutus
by Duby Dub Dubs on Jan 18, 2012 3:19 PM PST up reply actions
the mind/brain can be extremely powerful
Munchausen’s syndrome belongs to two broader categories : psychosomatic disorders and attention-seeking behaviour. So it shares the latter with exhibitionist sports fans and compulsive internet contributors/participants. If it were merely psychosomatic, it could be easily treated, but the with the more complicated cases, the patients will actually show the physical symptoms of their complaints in the exam and sometimes in the lab results as well. Belief can be quite powerful and bend things out of what we expect in a ‘normal’ physical sense — consider the people who walk over red hot embers and don’t suffer burns, just to cite one example of belief altering physiological responses.
Advanced Munchausen’s syndrome demonstrates, in a manner of speaking, the power of negative belief/thought. (if it brings gratification by gaining attention, it brings a positive benefit from the perspective of the patient). GS fans who renew their conviction each year that their team can and will contend for the post season, despite strong evidence indicating a continuation or slight improvement at best from an established norm of mediocrity, and to an extent those fans who understand the team’s plight but want to attend the games and make a show of optimism — they’re demonstrating a belief in positive thinking, that they can shape reality with their thoughts.
We can’t be sure, but this positive belief from fans (or at least their positive consumer spending/behaviour) does seem to have altered things beyond the individual fans. It’s probably boosted the number of home court wins , without which, the team’s record might better reflect its deficiencies. The team in a sense gets doses of legal performance-enhancing drugs when playing for their home partisans. When Riley announced Smart’s firing, he said stuff about the front office’s belief that they had a playoff – calibre team, and that Smart failed to meet expectations. From what was disclosed to the public, Lacob hired Jackson partly due to the reverend’s expressed conviction that the roster built on the same starting five was strong enough to get to the post season. We should give the new stewardship at least two full seasons before assessing them too harshly, but it’s possible they’ve kept the same starting five because they’ve overvalued the players in trade considerations.
There’s a “Warriors curse” to the extent the fans’ support keeps the team financially successful, which is the success that truly matters in the bidness of the n.b.a. Since the merger of the n.b.a + a.b.a., no team in the big league has suffered dissolution (‘contraction’ in sports bidness argot), in other words, no team has really failed. Even the modest success of an early playoff round elimination would represent a huge boost in profits for Lacob and cohorts. Cohan lost the fans’ mandate because he didn’t act and talk like one of the faithful ; Lacob will never fail in that way. It’s very possible that mediocrity will be perpetuated — one championship followed by a conference finals and nothing else close over a span of fifty years is strong testimony.
Music is the Healing Force of the Universe (a.ayler)
compulsive internet contributors/participants.
So about 30% of the world has this Munchausen’s syndrome.
by Doctor Kajita on Jan 19, 2012 2:24 PM PST up reply actions
Munchausen’s syndrome?
din’t barkley once say the warriors were a team of Munchausens?
Mirror on the wall
Here we are again.
by Skeptic con Urquell on Jan 18, 2012 2:35 PM PST reply actions 1 recs
Jonathan Swift
Reminds me of my brutal sessions in English Literature class where I had to pretend I actually read Gulliver’s Travel.
Robert Swift
Reminds me of a lot of Warriors centers.
by Uwe Blog on Jan 18, 2012 6:26 PM PST via mobile up reply actions
Reminds me of my brutal sessions in English Literature class
Reminds me of the ultimate warrior’s fansong “the pearl” written by miss emmy lou harris. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CywArYObn2U&feature=related
Mirror on the wall
Here we are again.
by Skeptic con Urquell on Jan 18, 2012 10:24 PM PST up reply actions






















