NBA Draft 2012: The Anagram Tea Leaves


Are the Warriors pursuing Orderly Seamen?

With D-Day just two days away, Warriors faithful have by now presumably played and replayed every draft-related YouTube clip, memorized every pound of mass and quarter inch of length, and pondered every freakish wingspan and ridiculous upside.

Still, the NBA draft is about astrology as much as science: at some point, you have put away the rulers and scales and don the swami hats. Sometime back in pre-GSoM / early years of Antawn Jamison ("I Wanna Jam Tons"), a fellow incurable Warriors fan and I started a tradition of using anagrams to see what kind of hidden messages were embedded in the names of potential draftees. (Remember this was before the internetz, with all its anagram / Words With Friends cheat websites, so rearranging names typically involved dumping out scrabble tiles and manually fussing with them).

I won't bore you with a year-by-year breakdown, but many of our anagram names ended up having legs. For example, we pretty much knew from the outset that Chris Taft"Fat Christ" — was destined for heavy martyrdom, or at least excruciating back problems. The anagram names weren't always a perfect indicator of how well their career would turn out — I mean, if they were you'd obviously expect "Vanilla Rim Swim" (Marvin Williams) to have a cooler and tastier career than "Warmed Bunny" (Andrew Bynum). But they were always a fun way to pass the last few days of breathless anticipation, after every clip had been pored over and every blurb had been parsed. And heck, in terms of how much truth they actually reveal, they're probably no less reliable than Paul the Octopus or Chad Ford.

Without further ado, here's a few of the guys with a chance to be there at pick #7.

  • Harrison Barnes: Inborn Harasser
  • Michael Kidd-Gilchrist: Dirk's Megalithic Child or Magic's Childlike Third
  • Andre Drummond: Random Mud Nerd
  • Meyers Leonard: Orderly Seamen
  • John Henson: John's No Hen
  • Perry Jones: Jersey Porn
  • Terrence Jones: Jeers No Center
  • Damien Lillard: Drilled Animal
  • Dion Waiters: Satin Weirdo
  • Moe Harkless: Kosher Meals
  • Jared Sullinger: Daring Jell User

My reading: lots to digest, but if the Ws are looking to run a tighter ship, Leonard could be their guy. (Though Lacob-Guber might also find Harkless appetizing...)

This FanPost is a submission from a member of the mighty Golden State of Mind community. While we're all here to throw up that W, these words do not necessarily reflect the views of the GSoM Crew. Still, chances are the preceding post is Unstoppable Baby!

Log In Sign Up

Log In Sign Up

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,

By becoming a registered user, you are also agreeing to our Terms and confirming that you have read our Privacy Policy.

Join Golden State Of Mind

You must be a member of Golden State Of Mind to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Golden State Of Mind. You should read them.

Join Golden State Of Mind

You must be a member of Golden State Of Mind to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Golden State Of Mind. You should read them.




Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.