With a game this pungently awful, there's no need to string words together in a coherent fashion. Let's just take a look at stuff that happened that were either entertaining, enlightening (ha!), morbid, grotesque, and the Marreese Speights. In order to get my Buzzfeed game on, I have organized these hashtag facts in no particular order and it is up to, you, the esteemed readers on a Friday night watching a Golden State Warriors-Sacramento Kings blowout, to piece together what happened.
1. Stephen Curry played 29 minutes in a game that the Warriors led from start to finish.
2. The Warriors won 102-69 and were up 84-48 at one point. Palindromes and the such.
3. Near the end of the first quarter, the Kings had more turnovers (9) than points (8).
4. The Warriors made history by holding the Kings to 27 first-half points, a franchise record low.
5. Klay Thompson is now the best rim finisher - outside of dunks - on the team (teaser!).
7. Jordan Crawford, Andre Iguodala and Jermaine O'Neal jumped so far off the bench they were only a couple feet away from Joe Lacob across the court after the Speights evisceration of Travis Outlaw. Poor guy. Just amnesty him already. Oh wait..
8. Curry, shooting "just" 41.7 percent from distance this season, will not come close to breaking the three-point made in a season record from last year. He shot 45.3 percent and poured in 272 in 2012-13. He is at 234 right now.
9. Courtesy of Ethan Strauss of TrueHoop, there's this:
Interesting Jermaine CSN interview. JO talked about trying to break Barnes out of the slump with a story of how bad JO was in a playoffs— Ethan Strauss (@SherwoodStrauss) April 5, 2014
After a three-pointer and a dunk off a pick-and-roll with Curry, Mike Malone motioned for another one of his 12133 called timeouts and O'Neal gave Barnes a slight head tap. Barnes didn't have a memorable game but he saw the ball go in the bucket. For a player that has struggled, to put it mildly, it's nice to see the hard work paid off, if only in low leverage situations like tonight.
10. Then this:
How close were Dubs & Bulls to making Barnes-Jimmy Butler trade? Don't know 4 sure which team said no. This is Barnes' best quarter in ages— Peter Vecsey (@PeterVecsey1) April 5, 2014
I don't know.
11. Fans were so excited about the win after the game the club suite was split into "Let's Go Giants" and "Let's Go A's" chants. Show them the ringzzzz.
12. The box score monitor went out midway through the fourth quarter.
13. Steve Blake likes Duck Dynasty more than Breaking Bad and is also a Dolphins fan that likes neither MIley Cyrus nor Justin Bieber. Hard-hitting analysis.
14. The Kings shot 17.9 percent in the first half.
15. Andre Iguodala was +30 in 17 minutes and thoroughly smothered Rudy Gay.
17. With the Portland loss to Phoenix, the Warriors are one game in the loss column behind the Trail Blazers, the fifth seed. The Los Angeles Clippers and Houston Rockets are the two likeliest opponents in the first round. The only postseason team the Warriors have to play the rest of the season are the Blazers.
18. DeMarcus Cousins took two personal fouls to start and Mike Malone had to take a technical foul to protect his player. It was downer than the bottom of a hill from then on.
19. There were really good brownies in the media room.
20. This was their biggest win against the Kings since a 62-point win in November 2, 1991. I was barely two months old.
21. The Warriors play the Utah Jazz at home on Sunday. Game of Thrones will also be on. Choose.