Magic 8 Ball and the Warriors

by Fantasy Junkie on Oct 24, 2006 1:34 PM PDT in Humor

I'm a fan of Ray Ratto's work. He's always got a different perspective and weaves his articles in an entertaining fashion. This time around he's writing about the recent $30 million naming rights deal that has the Warriors now playing at The Oracle, or "The O" as I like to call it. Ratto wants the new logo at center court to be a giant 8-ball.

Now what better logo for this than the giant magic 8-ball? It is, after all, what people consult every October right before they predict a playoff year for the Warriors.

Thus, on Opening Night, you will walk into the building on 66th and 880 and it will come to you immediately. You are entering the place where the Lakers are playing ... and also the Warriors.

Plus, the 8 will make you think of the position in the standings that someday your grandchildren might see the Warriors achieve. It's a cruel notion, but a fair one.

So I decided to do my own little test at deGraeve.com's Magic 8-ball section. Here's how it went, "O Magic 8-ball, will the Warriors make the playoffs this year?" (shake, shake shake)

I swear that was the first time I did it and it came up with that answer. No lie. The Magic 8-Ball never lies either. It's purely scientific. Seriously, at first, I was excited that it came up with "Without a doubt" and then I remembered that this was just dumb luck. So just like any good researcher, I tried it again, and here's what happened:

Not believing what I saw, I asked the same question over and over. You know what? 8 clicks later, the answers all came back saying the Warriors would make the playoffs. 10 times in a row the answer was positive! I'm actually getting excited for some strange reason. I think it's the whole 12 year drought thing and anything gets me excited about reading the Warriors will make the playoffs. Anyways, after the 10th time, I didn't need to keep asking the Oracle, also known as the Magic 8-ball, the same question over and over. I'm sure he/she was getting annoyed. So I've concluded and proven scientifically that the Warriors are indeed making the playoffs.

Magic 8-Ball, fact or fiction?

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Comments

Not to burst your bubble

But the 8 Ball also thinks the Blazers are going to make the playoffs as well. It could happen.

by Lance Uppercut on Oct 24, 2006 1:56 PM PDT reply actions

haha

I love it! Stuff like this is why I love this site.

by MoUpInTheO on Oct 24, 2006 2:05 PM PDT reply actions

I asked also

And it said "Yes, definitely"

by the optimus dime on Oct 24, 2006 2:33 PM PDT reply actions

watch out...

don't want to jinx it!

i can only seem to get 'outlook good' when i try.

by miguelito on Oct 24, 2006 3:23 PM PDT reply actions

Here's what I want to ask the Magic 8 ball...

...does anyone honestly think that Mike Dunleavy Jr., plus any and all help the other Warriors' "bigs" can provide, will be able to stop the likes of Lamar Odom, Zach Randolph, Sharif Abdur Rahim, Carmelo Anthony, Tim Duncan (ha!), Elton Brand (ha, ha!), Kevin Garnett (jeepers!), Dirk Nowitski (OMG) or any of the many other quality power forwards in the Western Conference? I think we know the answer: No!

While I realize that Golden State Of Mind prefers to be relatively optimistic during the preseason, then let the boos rain down after the season starts, I really want to know why no one is acknowledging what we all knew last year; Mr. Dunleavy can't guard a broomstick, much less an athletic, strong power forward like those that abound in the West. Heck, the Lake show might just post up Kwame Brown all night during the opener, and watch him posterize Dun to the tune of a personal best 45 points. I'm sorry, but I'm a realist all year long, and I see this philosophy of "just run and run, and outscore the opposition" as being fundamentally flawed. Let's not forget that Run TMC could shoot...the lights out. Chris Mullin was one of the best pure shooters of the last 25 years. Mitch Richmond could also light it up, and Timmy, well, I'll never forget that sweet crossover move of his. Nellie is deluding himself and us by thinking he can successfully execute a similar style with this lineup.

Look, I've been watching Warriors games since the days before the Worst Trade Of All Time (Joe Barry for The Chief and the rights to McHale), and unless Mr. Nelson figures out a working lineup that buries Dunleavy as deep as Adonal, it ain't gonna happen this year. So sayeth the Magic 8 Ball, the Oracle, my mom's tarot cards, et al. 'Nuff said.

by epsaysgoike on Oct 24, 2006 3:46 PM PDT reply actions

I agree with a lot of your points

Also check out Dunleavy at the 4?
http://www.goldenstateofmind.com/story/2006/9/29/134326/348

And don't worry my friend- the usual GSoM realism + humor will be on full display during our own multi-part Season Preview next week. We've been so busy writing articles/ previews for other sites, that we've been slow getting our own up. Don't worry though- it'll be the best.

by Atma Brother ONE on Oct 24, 2006 7:02 PM PDT up reply actions

i asked.....

Q: are the warriors just teasing us again?
A: dount count on it

Q: are the warriors lottery bound for a miserable 13th year in a row?
A: very doubtful

Q: will the entire team get injured on the same play?
A: my sources say no

man...i think this really is the year!!!!

by TMC Forever on Oct 24, 2006 4:10 PM PDT reply actions

my personal favorite...

will mike dunleavy jr be an all-star?

"it is certain"

you know, just like we predicted at GSoM... =)

by Fantasy Junkie on Oct 24, 2006 4:33 PM PDT reply actions

Here's the scoop

Will the Warriors make the playoffs this year?: No.
Will the Warriors make the playoffs next year?: My sources say no.
Will the Warriors make the playoffs ever?: Very doubtful.
Are you sure you're not lying to me?: My sources say yes.

There you have it folks. The Warriors will never make the playoffs, and the eight ball promised he's not lying.