Thank you all for coming.
As many of you know, we are here for a very somber reason. The pain may still be real for some of you, for others; denial is still looming. There are many phases and emotions that we are all here to feel, and the important thing to remember is that we are together in all of this. None shall suffer alone.
We are here to mourn the death of a season. For after a loss to the worst team in the league, our long hard battle is ending.
Way to employ the old school "Crocodile Hands" catch maneuver!
I would say that we could take solace in the fact that our passing was painless, but let's be honest; there was pain involved. Stricken with the terminal disease, "4th Quarter-itis", many doctors told us that we had a chance of living a long and healthy life. Hell let's face facts, that's what all doctors say. Inwardly, we knew the truth. Yet we continued to fight.
But last night, we met our fate. 4th Quarter-itis reared its ugly head in the waning seconds of the game. By the time that Jumaine Jones sank his charity throws in the final one and half seconds of the game, our pain had ended.
At this point, I'd like to ask everyone to bow their heads while we reflect on the events of last night. Some of you may be in a fragile state, so to you; I would ask that you simply close your eyes and reflect. Don't hold the tears back. We're in this together.
Let us remember the glory that is JRich, and all he has done for us. He shall be part of our resurrection; Glory be unto He. His 27 points last night shall not be forgotten. He went down fighting.
We pray for you Troy Murphy. We pray that your double double's continue! For your 14 boards last night were exemplary. We know in our hearts that you shall be part of our revival. Praise be unto Thee.
We light a candle tonight for Boom Dizzle. May he recover from his injuries and be the recipient of more minutes. May he use those minutes to become more consistent and the dominant force that we know him to be. This will be key to our survival.
Lastly, let us bow our heads for Foyle, Dunleavy, and a few key others. Many have lauded you this season as useless. Many have argued that you have contributed to this tragedy, rather than fought to prevent it. I, for one, have not given up hope. There are still many roles to be filled as we attempt to resurrect. Contributing players will need to be hydrated on a more regular basis, creating the need for more and more water boys. As a result of this excess water intake; Warriors who actually do something on the court will be sweating more, creating the need for the Arena floor to be mopped more often. The condition of the urinals at The Arena are worsening as we lose more and more games; forcing fans to drink more and more beers to numb the pain. I trust that you guys will find your way to contribute more, even if it's not on the court.
Let us mourn together, brothers and sisters. Let us take comfort in the fact that miracles do exist. I thank you all for coming. Refreshments will be served in the lobby.
Oh and Coach Monty, don't forget to grab a toilet brush on your way out.
Warrior Wonder: JRich. So much rest upon your shoulders. Way to be a Warrior.