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RECAP: Warriors 135, Grizzlies 144 - Soft as what?

Tonight's press conference was held at the Oracle after the team flight from a disappointing loss to the worst team in the league. Streams of reporters lined up to question how the Warriors could have given up 144 points to the Grizzlies in four quarters. Unfortunately, Warrior's personnel felt this would be a more appropriate time to introduce their newest mascot.

This is a rush transcript of Chris Mullin and Don Nelson: Aired Wednesday 1/3/07 at 10:34pm. Oracle Arena:

JINX, Warrior's Lead Cheerleader: Go ahead, YaoButtaMing you can start us off.
YaoButtaMing, GSoM Reporter: Thank you! Mr. Nelson can you tell us what you told the players after they gave up 43 points in the fourth?
DON NELSON, Warrior's head coach: I'm not here to talk about that!
JOHN SIMON, CNN Correspondent: Why are we here then?
CHRIS MULLIN, Warriors GM: Coach and I are here to introduce our newest mascot.
BERNARD WHITFIELD, Fox News Correspondent: Is it a Republican on a pogo stick?
MULLIN: I don't find that very funny.
YAOBUTTAMING: No really ... is it a republican on a pogo stick?
MULLIN: Folks we're here today because Nellie and I thought we needed a new image for the team. One that would embody our team's play and attitude. Thunder is definitely out.
WHITFIELD: If it's not a republican then I'm not interested.
YAOBUTTAMING: I'm confused. Shouldn't we be discussing tonight's horrendous game and how we are barely in the running for the playoffs?
MULLIN: Playoffs?!? Mr. YaoButta you are out of line. In fact all of your predictions on Golden State of Mind come out completely wrong. Why don't you just do us all a favor and predict we'll lose every single game.
(Crowd Laughs Hysterically. Jinx bumps Nellie)
NELSON: What no drum roll? Ok well here we go ... tada ... our new mascot ...

(Charmin Ultra runs around reporters and masquerades)
SIMON: How do the players feel about this?
NELSON: They love it! In fact they've wrapped each other in it all day. We cancelled practice because Biedrins tried to swallow some of it.
NELSON: He'll survive.
YAOBUTTAMING: So basically what you're saying is that we are so soft we lose to the Griz, and now we are the Charmin Ultra soft toilet paper?
YAOBUTTAMING: And so how does this help us get into the playoffs?
NELSON: It doesn't. It was either that or a rose pedals but I didn't think that would give us enough street cred!
MULLIN: No more questions! Everyone out, we have a lot of cleaning to do!
YAOBUTTAMING: I don't know, but tonight's warrior wonder is Matt Barnes! Scoring a career high 36 points with 7 rebounds, I'm beginning to think he is the real deal!
JINX: Why are you holding the mic and talking to yourself? Everyone has already left ...

I mean really! The Grizzlies!?!

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