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2k6-2k7 REPORT CARD: Zarko Cabarkapa

Who was the most consistent Warrior this past season? Was it Boom Dizzle when he was healthy? Was it Monta aside from the playoffs? Was it Andris before Nellie decided to go smaller than small down the stretch? Was it the solid Matt Barnes?

More bang for your cabarkapa!

Well, my vote goes to the Zark-man himself. Before you throw up all over your cabarkapa make the jump to check out why and see the rest of his 2006-2007 GSoM Report Card.



Just take a look at the numbers he put up this past season:

[Yahoo! Sports NBA]

You knew exactly what you were going to get from him night in and night out.

You know we really could've used this guy... well, okay probably not.

Adam Lauridsen (Fast Break)  

Grade: F
Zarko really gets an incomplete, since you can't fail if you don't show up. He had about the worst contract year possible and it's unclear at this point whether he'll be in the NBA next year. A missed opportunity given that his multi-skilled game could have thrived under Nellie. At least he was around to keep his best friend Andris happy during his break-out year.

Fun Score: 2
You get a bonus point in my book if your name starts with Z.

Atma Brother #1  

Grade: F
It's too bad the Zark-man had to sit out the entire season because of injury. I'm still curious to see if he's a good fit for Nelliball, but not curious enough to hope that the Warriors extend a qualifying offer to him. I have to say I do feel disappointed that the Warriors never teamed up Zarko and Darko. RIP Zarko Cabarkapa's NBA career... RIP Zarko Cabarkapa's NBA career... RIP Zarko Cabarkapa's NBA career...

Fun Score: 3
His name provided a few bad jokes throughout the season.

DJ Fuzzylogic  

Grade: F
My grade for him is really incomplete but since there wasn't an option, i just gave him the F. I was pretty enamored with his skillset when we first obtained him, thinking we got Dirk-lite. Zarko just hasn't panned out and i'm kind of surprised he's still around.

Fun Score: 4

Fantasy Junkie  

Grade: D
Who? This guy looks like the missing link.

Fun Score: 1


Grade: D

Fun Score: 3
Because I saw him at a game wearing a pretty pimp suit. He gets at least 3 for that.


Grade: F
I’ll give Zarko the same line I gave him last year since he did as much this year as he did last year. -Who's wearing their Cabarkapa? Hopefully not the warriors next season!

Fun Score: 2.5

Overall Grade: F+

Also see Zarko Cabarkapa's 2005-2006 GSoM Report Card

The Warriors did not end up extending a qualifying offer to Zarko earlier this offseason. (Tell me you weren't a little worried Chris Mullin was going to try to give him a max contract!) Given his injury history and dismal NBA career thus far I'd be surprised if he's in the NBA next season. Regardless, all the best to the man wherever he winds up!

The way Zarko's career ended with the Warriors really parallels how the Sopranos ended.

What do you think is lined up next for Zarko? European hoops star? European thespian? Sub for Jay Leno on the Tonight Show?

What will he do for an encore?

2006-2007 GSoM Report Cards

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