"Matt Barnes smells like dookie, but we're going to Disneyland after the game!"
Yes another loss - a fitting end to this season. Plagued of injuries, front office turmoil, and whiny players (ahem...Al Harrington) this season has not been the brightest. For about 20 games, I have witnessed losses and talked about the "great potential" this team. Players like Anthony Morrow and Anthony Randolph have shown that we have a great future, but the present is terrible. We lost to the Suns again - another close game with a lot great moments - Anthony Morrow tearing it up again, CJ distributing well, Randolph being all over the court - but it wasn't enough. It was never enough this season.
Ya know what? Who cares! Cause the Golden State Warriors are taking all their players, coaches, and us, the GSoM crew to Disneyland!
THAT'S RIGHT DISNEYLAND!!!
Not only am I stoked to go hang with everyone, but as I always found on my trips, Disneyland is quite an adventure....
(If you want a recap, go check out ESPN or Yahoo, there's about to be 0 game coverage in this post)
J to the U-M-P.
The Plane Ride
R Dizzle: Man, this is awesome! I get free tickets to the Warriors game AND a free trip to Disneyland! Everyone's here too! There's Jack, Maggs, Crawford, Beans, and even boy Kurz! Sweeeeeeeet!
What's even better - I get to hang with the whole GSoM crew! Great to finally spend some quality time with all these guys - we only get to kick it once or twice a year together. Sad story, i know.
Oh no, the Warrior Girls are even on this trip. Man, I hate...
Pilot: Alright listen up everyone! We're experiencing some turbulence and it's looks like we've got a bumpy landing comin up. Actually, this doesn't look pretty. Hold on tight while we...
Everyone: NOOOOOOO!!!!
(Plane crashes)
The Happiest Place on Earth...?
R Dizzle: I awoke in the plane by myself surrounded by a mystical haze and with the desire to narrate my life. Cool. What in the world should I do now? Then, I heard a booming voice from above....
Booming Voice from Above: Welcome to Disneyland, R Dizzle. We, the spirits of Disney, have cast a magical spell on all of the Warriors players and on the members of GSoM and we have transformed them into various Disney characters. To free them from the spell, you must locate their Disney character and say their real name to them. Then, and only then, will they be free of the spell.
R Dizzle: AWESOME! It's like a magical quest! This can be just like Kingdom Hearts! Is Mandy Moore going to be around too? Do I get to fight the Heartless?
Booming Voice from Above: Listen you nerd, just go out and find the players and your crew. Enough bad jokes for one season already!
R Dizzle: Never! Alright, off I go!
Mickey's Castle
R Dizzle: Alright, first place I should hit up is Mickey's castle. If I was the uncreative author of this story book, I would definetly make one of the Warriors members Mickey. In fact, there's King Mickey and Pluto right there!
Mickey Mouse: Ho ho! I love being happy and enjoying life for what it is!
Pluto: Woof woof! And I'm Mickey's right hand man.
R Dizzle: Alright let's think...Mickey rules the land, all decisions go by him, no one questions his authority, and he has a companion that always follows his lead. Got it! Don Nelson and Keith Smart!
BIPPITY BOPPITY BOO! TRANSFORM!
R Dizzle: Cool. Two down, a million to go. Let's see, Donald Duck's over there, arguing with the the park attendent.
Donald Duck: Quack, quack, quack! I didn't cut in line! It wasn't me! It was...that random guy over there! What a terrible call!
R Dizzle: If I was a ref, I'd probably want to give Donald a techni...Stephen Jackson!
BIPPITY BOPPITY BOO! TRANSFORM!
R Dizzle: There's Pinnochio. Too easy. Made this joke waaay too much this season. Haha, very funny. Monta Ellis. Can we stop with this already?
BIPPITY BOPPITY BOO! TRANSFORM!
R Dizzle: Alright, Goofy. Another easy one. The joker of the team, high energy, funny accent, and always has a smile on his face...Ronny Turiaf!
BIPPITY BOPPITY BOO! TRANSFORM!
R Dizzle: Okay, one left around Mickey's castle. Chip from Chip and Dale. The guy didn't really have any distinct personality, he really only had big teeth..
Who's got big teeth on the Warriors? Jeez, this is a hard one.
C.J. Watson?
BIPPITY BOPPITY BOO! TRANSFORM!
R Dizzle: That was a stretch. Ok, there doesn't seem to be any more Disney characters in the area, so maybe I should head to the Hundred Acre Woods. Too many easy comparisons for there NOT to be any Warriors players as Winnie-the-Pooh characters.
The Hundred Acre Woods
R Dizzle: Alright, Winnie-the-Pooh. Not the brighest guy in the world, but enjoys every minute he gets in the story, always happy...
Winnie-the-Pooh: I love honey too!
R Dizzle: I don't know...Rob Kurz?
BIPPITY BOPPITY BOO! TRANSFORM!
R Dizzle: That doesn't make much sense, but we'll run with it. Oh snap! There's Eyeore! He's always depressed, that must be Anthony Randolph!
Eeyeore - Sigh..no. No one even knows my name.
R Dizzle: Really? Thought that would have been easy. Ok, let's think - eeyeore's always broken, not really around, has a million reason to be sad...Got it. Brandan Wright.
BIPPITY BOPPITY BOO! TRANSFORM!
R Dizzle: So who's Tigger? Guy that jumps a lot, high energy...I have no idea. Yo Tigger, what are you good rebounding?
Tigger: That's what Tigger's do best!
R Dizzle: Ok, what about shooting?
Tigger: That's what Tigger's do best!
R Dizzle: Dropping assists?
Tigger: That's what Tigger's do best!
R Dizzle: Blocking shots?
Tigger: That's what Tigger's do best!
R Dizzle: You think you can do everything. Anthony Randolph it is!
BIPPITY BOPPITY BOO! TRANSFORM!
R Dizzle: Enough of this kid stuff. Let's go to the adult land...
Frontier Land
R Dizzle: Hey look, there's Beast, the clock, and the candle. Two international guys and one really buff guy. Well, the clock and the candle were best friends. That's pretty easy. But what about Beast? First guess would Corey Maggette, but Beast had a soft heart for that princess and he could sing. In fact, I bet he could sing Boys II Men "I'll Make Love to You" pretty darn well...
I'ma go with Marco Bellinelli, Andris Biedrins, and Kelenna Azubuike!
BIPPITY BOPPITY BOO! TRANSFORM!
R Dizzle: Great. I'm about half way done and I bet I'm making good progress time wise. I hope they're chronically my time so that when I go back and do this adventure New Game + style I have a time to beat...
Booming Voice from Above: Stop with the nerdy jokes!
R Dizzle: Right. Ok, on to Lion King characters. Simba - he's a lion hear him roar. Strong tough guy, but gets batted around a lot...Corey Maggette - final answer.
BIPPITY BOPPITY BOO! TRANSFORM!
R Dizzle: Now there's Pumba. Who in the world would be like Pumba? Hey can you give me any hints about who you are?
Pumba: Nope.
R Dizzle: Not even a bit?
Pumba: I like to crash in stuff.
R Dizzle: Like boards?
Pumba: Sure!
R Dizzle: Jermareo Davidson?
Pumba: Hakuna Matata!
BIPPITY BOPPITY BOO! TRANSFORM!
R Dizzle: Uh oh. Here comes the bad guys. Jaffar and Iago are over there plotting new diabolical schemes. I might need some help to fight these guys off...
Mushu: I got your back R Dizzle! I always have a hot hand!
R Dizzle: Snap! It's the Dragon from Mulan! Hot hand? Sounds like you could be Jamal Crawford!
BIPPITY BOPPITY BOO! TRANSFORM!
R Dizzle: Well, that wasn't very smart of me. Now he transformed into his normal self and he can't help me fight off the bad guys. They're fast approaching! I have to think quick. Ok, evil guys on the Warriors assocation, one of em's a puppet for the other, don't really care about anyone or anything except making riches...
CHRIS COHAN AND ROBERT ROWELL!!
BIPPITY BOPPITY BOO! TRANSFORM!
R Dizzle: Phew. That was too close. Shouldn't I get some sort of prize for defeating the bad guys? Like...those princesses over there?
Disney Princesses: Hey R Dizzle! Want to go out tonight?
R Dizzle: How did you know my name? Do I know you guys or something?
Disney Princesses: Yup. You've met us quite a few times...
R Dizzle: No, no, NO! Don't tell me you're the...Warrior Girls?
BIPPITY BOPPITY BOO! TRANSFORM!
R Dizzle: Nooooo!!!
Warrior Girls: You know, you really should rethink your stance about cheerleaders R Dizzle. Remember how when you were a kid you would dream about marrying one of us? Don't lose hope R Dizzle. You'll get your cheerleader. We're not all that bad.
R Dizzle: Fine, fine. You're right. There's really only ONE that I really hate...
Well, ya know what, in the words of the Plain White T's,
"Hate is a strong word, but I really really REALLY don't like you.
Now that it's over, I don't even know what I liked about you.
Brought you around, and you just brought me down.
Hate is a strong word, but I really really REALLY don't like you."
You know who you are. Call me immature, yes. But funny nonetheless.
R Dizzle: Anyway, I think I know where to head next...there's only one more player left...and he's quite the shooter. To Tomorrow Land!
The Future is Bright
R Dizzle: Alright here we are at the Toy Story ride. And there's Buzz Lightyear!
Buzz Lightyear: Welcome Space Ranger! Ready to learn how to shoot as accurately as me? You can soon be a high scoring, bad guy destroying, player like me! Hop on the ride!
R Dizzle: Shouldn't I guess who you are first?
Buzz Lightyear: No time for that! To Infinity and Beyond!
BIPPITY BOPPITY BOO! TRANSFORM!
R Dizzle: Man, this has been one crazy adventure. I've found all the Warriors players, Nellie and Smart, Chris Cohan and Rowell, and even the Warrior girls. But it feels like something's missing...oh right, MY CREW!
There's Mr. Incredible over there - maybe I should go ask him. Hey man, have you seen the GSoM members?
Mr. Incredible - I am one of the members, R Dizzle. Just think - who is the one keeps you all motivated and writing? Who's the leader at the end of the day?
R Dizzle: Fantasy Junkie?
BIPPITY BOPPITY BOO! TRANSFORM!
R Dizzle: Cool. Hey, there's another Toy Story character - the Etch-O-Sketch. That must be my main man Tony.PSD!
BIPPITY BOPPITY BOO! TRANSFORM!
R Dizzle: Only a few more. Wait, who's that guy? Kronk from The Emperor's New Groove? That's awesome! He's one of my favorite characters...nice guy, always funny, but not the brightest cat in the world...sounds a whole lot like Hash.
BIPPITY BOPPITY BOO! TRANSFORM!
R Dizzle: Only one place left to check. My most favoritest ride in all of Disneyland - Star Tours!! It would be only too fitting the rest as Star Wars characters...especially since there's C3PO and R2D2. Alright...who's kind of annoying, always whiny, and is really sensitive? YaoButtaMing for sure! (Just kiddding buddy. I know you're laughing deep down inside.) And R2D2? The smart one that hides in the background and makes sure that all smooth...must be DJ Fuzzy Logic.
BIPPITY BOPPITY BOO! TRANSFORM!
R Dizzle: Ah yes, and last but not least - we have Darth Vader. Once a good guy destined to be a true Jedi and then swayed to the Dark Side. What finally turned him? His new found friendship with the most evil one of all - Sleepy Freud! Say Hello to Atma Brother 1!
BIPPITY BOPPITY BOO! TRANSFORM!
R Dizzle: So there it is - all done with the quest. Not only have I been clever enough to find all the Warriors personel, but I ALSO found all of the GSoM homies. Yes, I'm the hero for the day. Ladies, the line starts behind Princess Jasmine (my one true love.) Oh ya, and I'm the best at Kindgom Hearts!
(Update 4:45)
Away we go, riding straight into the sunset...bustin out our stunna shades sayin...
GO WARRIORS!! WE STILL BELIEVE!!
Big ups to Mistress P, MeggyPoo, and Harold..I mean Killa Mike for a great Disneyland trip!
Too easy. I'm going to throw this out one last time to all of the Warriors Fans especially those at GSoM. This hasn't been an easy season to endure, but we all made it and had a ton of fun along the way. Thanks to everyone for their posts, comments, and always coming back and checking what new stuff we've dropped. We all appreciate you guys and all that you do, and keep coming back for more!
Stay tuned for playoff coverage (even though the Dubs aren't in it), player report cards, draft news, and the rest of the offseason!
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R Dizzle: What a day, what a day. But wait, I never figured out who I turned into. Wonder who that could be....