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I swag. I swag. I cook. I cook.

Lil B has cursed the Bearded One. Also, the internet is a strange, twisted place.

Cary Edmondson-USA TODAY Sports

"If Harden doesn't tell what he is doing, which is the Lil B cooking dance, he will be cursed. He needs to stop stealing Lil B swag without showing love."

Lil B, Warriors fan, entrepreneurial artist, voice of a generation, has (according to TMZ) cursed James Harden, and this series may never be the same.

Apparently upset about Harden stealing his Cooking Dance, Lil B went on the offensive.

Now, you may not be one to believe in curses. You might laugh in the face of all things supernatural. You may be a person who does not believe in jinxes. If you are, in fact, one of these people, you should understand that Lil B has previously cursed people, and his curses have the power to change the world.

Did you know that he once cursed Kevin Durant? True story. And now look what happened. Horrible year. Injuries. Never made the playoffs. This shit is real, y'all.

Here, watch the original video:

I cook. I cook. I chef. I cook. I cook. I chef. I cook. I cook. I swag. I swag. I swag. I swag. I swag.

I think over 90% of all the words in this song are either "I," "Cook," "Chef," or "Swag."

They shot it with a single camera around his house, and he spends the whole video doing his cooking dance while SWAGGIN SO HARD.

Fuck yeah Lil B.

James Harden, you are so screwed.

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Nate Parham sent me the TMZ article before the game last night with the note, "I don't know what you'd do with this...but this seems like excellent fodder for your next write-up..."

I wrote back, "You know me well."

And here we are.

James Harden drove the court, down one, with under ten seconds left in game two of the Western Conference Finals, gave up the rock to Dwight Howard (LOLZ), immediately demanded it back and then dribbled into a suffocating trap from Stephen Curry and Klay Thompson as time expired.

Game over.

The internet exploded.

And the most twisted of them all:

People started taking memes from other memes and then we all just fell into a giant black hole of confusion and photoshopped faces.

Goddammit, what is this world we have created? If you've spent too much time online recently, you'll understand this. If you don't, be thankful:

--- = ---

A few years ago, these things, these memes, these ideas that spread like wildfire consuming all along the way, only existed in the fringes of people's subconscious.

Why are we putting crying Jordan (from his HOF speech) face onto James Harden at the podium of the WCF after blowing an important crunch time possession, with Lil B hovering beside him with a drunk Denzel Washington pasted onto him?



Technology has become omnipresent. We may as well live in a world that is as much ultrareality as reality. Walking around, constantly intermeshing our digital existences onto the top of the normal fabric of the day-to-day. But when we cross the line, we cross it hard.

I thought the internet existed in order for us to look up trivia questions about Lost, or find funny cat videos.

If y'all are making memes of James Harden's face on Riley Curry's body sitting on Steph's lap, I'm outta here.

Also, thank you Based God. Keep up the good work.

Game three! Tomorrow! Houston! 6pm PDT.

Holy shit, this series has been good.

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