Warriors get manhandled in Memphis, 110-89

Russia is to blame, for sure. How else to explain a 110-89 shellacking at the hands of the Memphis Grizzlies? I mean, where do we start?

1st Quarter:

The Grizzlies jumped out to an early nine point lead, as the Warriors started the game flat, listless, and uninterested. They shot the ball at a horrendous clip to start, and the only life shown from the bench or on the court was Steve Kerr, who picked up an early technical foul in hopes of inspiring his squad.

And it didn’t get a whole lot better.

2nd Quarter:

It didn’t get much better right away. Turnovers happened. And then happened again. And...again. And then some shots didn’t fall. And then some more turnovers.

It was the antithesis of righteousness.

Somehow along the way, I made some frenemies.

I mean, you come to the fire, y’all gonna get burnt.

However, the Warriors were still uninterested in turning their game around.

At the end of the first half, the Warriors still trailed by a bucket full of points.

And by bucket, I mean like a giant crater-sized hole in my mind trying to comprehend how in the hell this happened. Other than, you know, some random night in Memphis.

3rd Quarter:

Ummm... Yeah. They were down by 30 points. Thirty. Frickin. Points. Isn’t this what the Warriors normally do to other teams?

Man, the NBA is a strange, fragile, unique bird.

It’s a fragile bird who will flap its wings in your face, screeching nonsense, throwing you towards an unstable ledge over which monsters roam. Or some such nonsense.

In other news, Lamar Jackson won the Heisman award. That dude is completely, ridiculously awesome. To alleviate some awful Warriors news, let’s jump on some Jackson highlights:

YOOOO THAT HURDLE THO...

However, Warriors fans were not pleased with the fact that Steve Kerr started Anderson Varejao in this game.

Okay, anyways. Suddenly it was only a 15 point deficit. Durant hit a couple of shots. The Dubs asserted a previously (as far as this game was concerned) unseen assertiveness.

However, the Dubs ended the quarter down big, still.

And, ultimately, it obviously did not matter that the Warriors made a run, as evidenced in the fourth quarter.

4th Quarter:

Let’s just not talk about it, okay?

[...]

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[looks away]

So, what did we learn? Well, I watched some dope ass Westworld videos while the Warriors got their butts kicked. Learn and live, right?

Ahhhhh, forget it.