clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

Stephen Curry is ruining the sport of basketball!

This article is all about PROOF.

He's so selfish it makes me sick. Even this picture is his!
He's so selfish it makes me sick. Even this picture is his!
Kyle Terada-USA TODAY Sports

We all know the story. When Michael Jordan's grandfather, the original Michael Jordan, nailed that peach basket to his North Carolina garage door in 1946, he single-handedly launched a revolution.

Eighty years later, the game of basketball is still going strong thanks to the contributions of his grandson, the legendary basketball player and American hero Michael Jordan I. His perfect blend of jumping, height and athleticism was the very essence of the sport. And as a North Carolina native, no one and nothing symbolized these traits better than the fathers of aviation, Wilbur Wright and Orville Redenbacher (Jordan would later honor them both with the legendary Air Jordan I basketball sneakers).

And although bitter racial tension at the time forced Jordan, an African-American, to use a white man on his now-iconic Jumpman logo, true purists knew that the game he created was all about inclusion, diversity, and sportsmanship.

That, my friends, is why Stephen Curry's selfish, showboating selfishness is such an affront to the game I love.

Like his father, Dell, Selfish Curry only cares about one thing: Stephen Curry. And his shot. And his endorsement deals. Just one. But not his passing, not his defense, and definitely not his teammates. Every season, Curry's shot attempts have increased, all but ruining the careers of great offensive players like Andrew Bogut (the first overall pick, and a guy who can actually post-up like a legitimate basketball player!) and Draymond Green (an elite scorer from Michigan State - where did Stephen Curry go to school? A liberal arts hippie college). And Klay Thompson isn't far behind, since his wrong-headed idolization of Curry will only make him another me-first shooting star (what position did he decide to play? Shooting guard. That isn't a coincidence).

As far as his defense: what defense? He's among the league leader in steals (only after you factor in steals from his own teammates, no doubt), but he's not even a top-100 player by blocks per game. You know who's ahead of him? Giannis Antetokounmpo (who?), Nerlens Noel (WHO!?) and Pau Gasol (HAH! These guys don't even sound like basketball players! They sound like made up soccer names from Brazil). The Warriors are allowing well over 100 points per game, and you can lay that directly at Curry's always-wide-open doorstep. He's the star, and the entire defense is only as good as its weakest link.

Curry's teammates have been falling by the wayside all along, only you rarely hear about it because the media doesn't want to give you the truth. All they care about is ratings, and fans love ball hogging. It worked for Allen Iverson, it worked for Michael Jordan and it worked for Shaquille O'Neal. First there was beloved teammate and emotional leader Monta Ellis. He couldn't ‘mesh' with Curry's aggressive, me-first show boating, so they shipped him off to Milwaukee (the western world's equivalent of Siberia). Then it was backup point guard Nemanja Nedovic, who actually got shipped to Siberia Siberia, or thereabouts, when siphoned minutes from Curry. Big mistake. Now, no one knows what became of the young point guard.

Don't forget Jarrett Jack. A real point guard with a real feel for the court, Stephen Curry couldn't deal with taking the back seat as fourth-quarter savior. So out went Jack, and then the coach who believed in him, Mark Jackson (a former point guard -- notice a trend?). Now it's Steve Kerr's turn, but if Curry has taught us anything, it's that he will not play nice with other point guard...particularly one who claims to be a great shooter, too. Kerr's days are numbered.

Now, Stephen Curry-mania is dominating the airwaves: he's in every other commercial, and cashing in on his fame to support his lavish, wasteful lifestyle. His kids are cute, granted, but he's hogging all of the attention for them, too! What about Andre Iguodala's son? He's cute, too, but do you ever hear from him? Noooo, That would make Stephen Curry angry! And then the real MVP (the Finals MVP that is) would be out of a job.

And now the last straw: his ‘Under Armour' brand (note the anti-American spelling! What is this, the colonies?) is trying to take over basketball apparel from Jordan. And at the same time, Curry is trying to destroy records that only Michael Jordan I, and Michael Jordan I alone could reach. If he has any class at all, Curry would bow out now, and concede the season (fat chance). These are hallowed records, and those aren't meant to be broken.

Remember the 18-1* Patriots? The asterisk is because they graciously decided to honor the great, undefeated Dolphins team that came before them by conceding the Super Bowl. Remember Barry Bonds' 73* homeruns? The asterisk is because he's selfish, and a poor sport, and the record doesn't really count. In basektball, it's the same thing: you've never seen people break Wilt Chamberlain's scoring record out of respect for his greatness. Jordan and many others could have if they wanted to be the selfish player that Curry is. And you've never seen teams try to break 72-10. Until now. Curry won't rest until everything is his.

Face it: what Curry does is just not American -- it's all about greed and accumulation of wealth with him. In fact, he doesn't even celebrate American New Year! I didn't want to believe it at first, either, but this is clearly him.

I implore the basketball world: real teams who believe in sharing, Nike, diversity, Kardashians, inclusion, height, capitalism, and above all else, dunking, to stop supporting Stephen Curry. He's ruining the sport we all used to love. To cite countless broadcasters who have repeatedly gone on the record (at the risk of their own careers!), "Stephen Curry is a bad man."

*Mic Drop*