The Golden State Warriors came back from a seemingly insurmountable deficit last night, as they hustled and gutted their way to a 110-99 win over the Portland Trail Blazers. Draymond Green led the charge. He kicked ass, took names, and dominated the Blazers throughout the course of the fourth quarter. His defensive tenacity (and his ruthlessness) enabled the Warriors to outscore the Blazers 34-12 in the final frame.
Me? I'm here to ask simple questions. I'm here to lighten the mood. I'm here to dive into the cracks.
Namely, I'm here to ask HOLY GOD WHAT WAS DRAYMOND STARING AT DURING HIS PRESS CONFERENCE?
Did Mothra, the evil Moth who (duh) controls our hearts and minds start uploading specific instructions for world domination?
Did a space/time continuum rip open the fabric of the air surrounding him and he somehow fell into an endless tunnel of revelation?
Did he re-create this scene from Contact?
If he was wearing a camcorder headset, would it register 18 hours of static?
By my count, I've got him incapacitated for a little over 22 seconds. 22 seconds is enough time for Usain Bolt to run 200 meters. Or for the history of math class to be explained. Or for a high school kid to lose his...umm... Anyways...
Draymond didn't reboot until Festus said his name. Then, he tried to casually play it off. Play it off like he hadn't just seen the face of God, or the coming of the robot revolution, or the end of all time.
We are on to you Draymond.