2016 NBA Free Agency Tracker: The first big signing is...Timofey Mozgov?

The 2016 NBA Free Agency period started off with a bang last night. Right at the stroke of midnight, teams were free to begin contacting players’ agents, hammering out deals, and throwing money into the void.

With an influx of just stupid, stupid money next year, the salary cap is climbing to an unprecedented level. Any player making under $15M a year now seems like a complete, utter bargain (ahem...Curry).

So, as the clock chimed midnight the basketball-loving world sat around, waiting for that first hammer to drop. Who would sign first (well, not sign because moratorium until the 6th, but...)? Where would Durant go? Would any major players (DeRozan, etc) jump ship and find new teams? Would we — GOOD GOD! IS THAT TIMOFEY MOZGOV’S MUSIC?

So, wait... Let me get this straight?

Jim Buss is up against a self imposed “be competitive or get the hell out of town” impending firing, he also thought that Durant should schedule a meeting with the Lakers “out of respect,” and given the confluence of stupid, strange things swirling around his organization these days, his first move at the stroke of midnight on 7/1 was to call TIMOFEY FRICKIN MOZGOV??

Um, okay.

Okay.

In other news, the NY Knicks decided to a.) not hire Tom Thibodeau, even though the city was yearning for his gruff-voiced, heavy handed leadership, and yet, b.) sign all his former players.

The deal is rumored to be $18M/year for four years. FOUR YEARS! That is a significant amount of years for a 31 year old player who only managed to appear in 29 games last season and shot 38.3% from the field, but you know, again. Frog, coffee. Noah’s deal is not set in stone, as it appears he’ll still have communication with a few other teams, though the Knicks remain the frontruners.

Elsewhere around the association, the Wizards and Bradley Beal agreed to a five-year, $128 million deal, the Trail Blazers reportedly offered Chandler Parsons a four-year deal around $96 million, the Miami Heat and Hassan Whiteside agreed on a four-year, $98 million contract, DeMar DeRozan agreed to terms with the Raptors on a five-year, $139 million contract, Andre Drummond and the Detroit Pistons inched closer to agreeing on a five-year, $130 million deal, and most importantly DWYANE FRICKIN WADE MIGHT LEAVE THE HEAT FINALLY! Could he end up on the...gulp...Bucks of all teams?

Also, I enjoyed this tweet:

Is this all just a smokescreen from Wade’s camp to wrangle a long term deal out Miami? Or is old man rivers finally walking out that door into the sunset of...the Midwest?

Whew!! What a first, um, 11 hours and 16 minutes so far!

We can’t wait to see how the rest of this madness unfolds. Where will Chandler Parsons end up? Who will get Durant? (Also, Warriors fans: Think happy thoughts hella hard. DO IT! DO IT NOW!!!)

AAAAAAAARGH for some reason I thought this meeting was later today and now that know it’s happening right now I’m suddenly terrified.

Okay, shit, gotta run and obsessively scan twitter for encouraging signs.

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UPDATE: KEEP THINKING THOSE HAPPY THOUGHTS!!! WE CAN DO THIS!!! WE CAN DOOOOOOOO THIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSS!!

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