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Winter is coming: The Warriors’ starting 5 versus Game of Thrones

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A comparison between characters from the hit HBO TV series Game of Thrones and the Warriors starting five. What could go wrong?

2017 NBA Finals - Game One
Let’s go!
Photo by Thearon W. Henderson/Getty Images

Note that there are some spoilers shared down below. So if you’re a reasonable Game of Thrones fan who is not caught up with the latest season or someone who hasn’t jumped on the bandwagon yet, I’d advise you to go binge watch and come back afterwards.

Winter is coming. Slowly. Please Hurry the !#$% up.

Well, here we are again. At the edge of the preseason finish line, with my anxiousness tortuously testing my patience to watch the NBA be once-more devoured by this Golden State behemoth of ours. Unfortunately for me, patience is a virtue of which I have none. Which means double the pain for the fanboy in me when it comes to the HBO TV series Game of Thrones (GoT).

For those of you unfamiliar with the show, the simplest way I can sum it up is that it’s a story set in a fantasy world full of zombies, magic, and dragons. Then there’s different groups of people all vying to be crowned king, dabbling in all sorts of shady practices to gain an edge including corruption and murder.

Essentially it’s not too far off from being a fictional representation of most modern-day sport leagues. Although I guess, the corruption and “murdery” aspects kind of puts it more on par with the NFL.

With that said, fellow GSoM staffer Daniel Hardee wrote a glorious piece last week comparing the reunion of LeBron James and Dwayne Wade to characters found on GoT. By the end of the article, I couldn’t help but begin to draw similar parallelisms to the starters on this current Warriors roster.

While my esteemed colleagues are covering all the important bits of ongoing NBA news, I figured I’d throw in this insightful labor of passion since there’s clearly a shortage of NBA and GoT crossovers on the interwebs...

Now I’d like to believe this is on the level of some three-eyed raven type of insight. But I’d be willing to concede the following babble to the combination of the triple-shot espresso I just threw down the hatch and growing eagerness to get the season going. Either way, I hope you bear with me — at least for the laughable photoshop edits.

The beasts beyond the paint.

Zaza and Dray are monsters
Zaza the giant and Dray the wildling.

Zaza Pachulia/Wun Wun

One’s a Georgian giant, the other is...well just a giant. They both punish their opponents mercilessly — just ask Kawhi Leonard. And both of them fashion names that sound like they belong in a Flinstones universe.

However being that big also simply leads to clumsy mistakes — just ask Spurs fans about the instance mentioned above concerning Leonard But for our own team’s sake, please Pachulia, no friendly-fire this year. Especially on Kevin Durant.

Extra browsing materials

Watch Wun Wun’s greatest hits

Draymond Green/Tormund Giantsbane

If you had to pick one person on the team to be the wildest wildling on GoT, who would it be?

If you picked anyone other than Ron Adams you are unfortunately wrong. But in all seriousness — which I guess in this article’s case is not serious at all — it would really have to be Draymond Green.

He’s passionate, wiles out, talks trash, and is always the one to take the fight to the opposing squad.

On top of this, he’s one of the closest teammates to our real-life protagonist Stephen Curry and acts as the secondary leader of the team, being the more vocal of the two.

Also just like how Tormund can’t look away from Brienne of Tarth, Green always keeps his eye on the prize and the bigger picture of winning at all costs.

Tormund eyeing Brienne
Tormund with the look of love
Vanity Fair

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Tormund’s mouth would give Green’s a run for his money

A savior and a Band of Splash Brothers.

Klay and Curry as a band of brothers.
Klay’s shot can never die. Curry is our Azor Ahai.

Stephen Curry/John Snow

The resemblance is a bit uncanny. Like John Snow, Curry was overlooked, with colleges and NBA teams failing to see how much of force he’d be to reckon with. At one point, some may have even counted Curry for dead with his “glass-ankles” injury curse.

John dies. But he really doesn’t.
You can’t die John! You haven’t seen Curry drop thirteen 3-pointers yet!

But he overcame all of that to champion in a new era of basketball for not only us Warriors fans, but the league at large.

Furthermore, he sees the bigger picture much like John does and is keen on what’s truly important in life beyond basketball.

A beautiful blend of skill and humbleness. Hands-down, mans-down, it goes without a doubt that Curry is our Azor Ahai. Where in the world would we be if we had never got him onto the team? I have no clue, and that’s a reality I don’t want to experience.

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Why John is Azor Ahai, sorry Dany fans

Apparently people have an irrational hate for John as much as they do for Curry

Klay Thompson/Beric Dondarrion

Beric is known on GoT as the man who can’t die. He gets brought back to life every time, which must be a real pain in the ass for his enemies.

This shares a stark resemblance to Thompson’s shooting performance every season. There always comes a point where he hits a cold streak and his shot goes dead. Panic ensues. People start doing irrational things like wonder about Kevin Love.

And then like a phoenix from the ashes, Thompson inevitably finds his stroke. He then proceeds to set records and annihilate opponents without breaking a sweat, much like a T-1000. Gah, sorry guys I forgot which pop-culture source I was referencing. But I mean, he is Klaybot.

Anyways, keep firing away Klay Thompson. You’re bound to catch fire much like Beric’s sword.

Klay’s on fire like Beric’s sword
Flame on!

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More on Beric’s many deaths and resurrections

The Kingslayer himself.

Kevin Durant Lannister
KD always pays his debts. Except for you OKC, he doesn’t owe you a damn thing.

Kevin Durant/Jamie Lannister

Some see them as traitors. Some see them as heroes. Others just see cupcakes. I guess it all really depends on where you’re standing.

What it comes down to is that both of them are amongst the best at what they do. Durant balls out. Jamie swings a mean sword — or at least when he had a right hand to do so. But most importantly, they have both slain a “Mad King” in their own right.

Crying LeBron
A Mad King indeed.

Also worthy to note is that they were both playing for the wrong team for too long, weighed down by petty cohorts who failed to realize that they really weren’t as good as they would have you believe. But both have since abandoned their long-term partners for greener pastures, making the right decision to join the forces of good.

Extra browsing materials

Predictions on the effects of Jamie’s divorce from Cersei that are more likely to come true than any of Skip Bayless’s hot takes

The steps Jamie took to go from most hated to most beloved. Now you can too in just 21 easy steps!

Let’s get on with the show.

Well, this was fun. But honestly, the season couldn’t approach any more slower than it has the past few days. Just less than a week left guys till we’re crushing it all over again.

I guess I’ll get started on a Mr. Robot comparison piece in the meantime.

If any of you GoT fans have other comparisons to throw out or think I mucked up one of the players above, I’d love to read all about them down in the comments.