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E1P: Jordan Bell’s self alley-oop was pure evil

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Video comparison of other evil dunks to Jordan Bell’s self alley-oop dunk that punctuated the end of the Warriors-Mavericks game on Oct 23, 2017.

NBA: Houston Rockets at Golden State Warriors
destroying our nation, one dunk at a time
Kyle Terada-USA TODAY Sports

I know we just got done discussing why Stephen Curry with his Flying Dagger Mouthguard is pure evil, but Jordan Bell outdid Curry with his stupendous dunk. Steve Kerr did apologize to Coach Rick Carlisle and warned Jordan Bell that he might face retaliation. Though Dirk Nowitzki downplayed the seriousness, saying that retaliation only happened in the old days and that it’s “almost 2018”.

But NBA Twitter knows better.

Jordan Bell’s self-alley-oop-dunk is part of the moral rot that is destroying basketball and this country. Doesn’t he know to never do a showboat dunk late during a game when you’re up in a blowout? To put this horror into proper perspective, we contrast it with similar dunks which were rightly criticized (or were they?). Here’s a video critique:

  • Paul George, up 20 points in the fourth quarter, threw down a 360 degree spinning dunk which was apologized for, oops, I mean not apologized for at all, nor even brought up in the press except to say how sweet it was.
  • DeMar DeRozen missed a 360 dunk against China, up 45 points, which Coach K apologized for, oops, I mean didn’t apologize for at all, nor did he even mention it, except to say Team USA needed to focus more during the game. Nor did the press or the guardians of purity and class criticize it.
  • And closer to home, the end of the 2016 home opener, with the Spurs up 27 points in a humiliating blowout of the Warriors at home, with under ten seconds left, Jonathan Simmons drove past the garbage time crew and threw down a massive dunk. Popovich of course immediately apologizes, oops I mean, didn’t mention it at all, nor did Kerr, nor did the press.

Well, the point is, that everyone knows there’s something kind of classless about a hot dog dunk when you’re comfortably ahead. Except if it’s really cool and by a team you don’t already hate.

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Poll

How evil was Jordan Bell’s self alley-oop?

This poll is closed

  • 2%
    Completely classless, I’m embarrassed for him
    (23 votes)
  • 19%
    A bit classless, but fun and worth it
    (164 votes)
  • 59%
    Lighten up everyone, these are ten men bouncing a ball
    (499 votes)
  • 17%
    Why isn’t this article about Jordan Be— oh wait, it is.
    (146 votes)
832 votes total Vote Now