Deep in the darkest recesses of their angry hearts, every single fan of the Cleveland Cavaliers realizes they’ve made a huge, horrible mistake. And I’m not talking about what happened in November, either. I’m talking about how — if pressed — every single Cavaliers fan would, under pressure, admit that they love the Golden State Warriors.
Maybe it’s the flair with which Stephen Curry plays. Maybe it’s the selflessness shown throughout the roster. Maybe it’s the wholesome, good-natured way in which the team addresses the media, or the way they genuinely seem to care about one another.
But either way, I guarantee you that every Cavs fan, no matter how bitter, hardened, spiteful, or arrogant, secretly loves the Warriors.
Now, finally, one of them has had the courage to step forward and admit what we’ve all known for forever.
This kid was just brave enough to do what all Cavs fans, everywhere, secretly wish they could do. pic.twitter.com/iRea3r7a9n— Golden State of Mind (@unstoppablebaby) May 24, 2017
It’s okay, guys. You don’t have to be afraid. We won’t judge you. The bandwagon is big enough for you too. Just close your eyes, and let it be thusly. We know you love Stephen Curry. How couldn’t you? His smile is like a thousand-pound-pile-gold-watt-moon-lit-ray-of-sunshine. His shot is perfect. His life is perfect. He wants nothing more than to accept you, finally, into the goodness of his heart. Join the young prophet, pictured above, who finally revealed your secret. Come, we will accept you.
Come to us, be happy. Be fulfilled. You’re home.