Holy hell you guys, we’ve almost done it. We’ve ALMOST MADE IT TO THE PROMISED LAND. After an endless procession of dumb tweets, dumb things, good people telling bad people not to be so dumb, and other assorted dumb events, we now stand on the brink of Warriors (preseason, but yeah, whatever I’ll take it) basketball!!!!!!!!!!
The 2017-18 NBA season promises to be chock-full of weird, fun storylines. How will Carmelo Anthony, Paul George, and reigning MVP Russell Westbrook survive together on the frigid plains of Oklahoma? Will Dwyane Wade reunite with his BFF LeBron James? Will the myriad, tantalizing pieces of Philadelphia’s rebuild be able to stay on court and on track? Have the Warriors broken not only the NBA, but the unstable mind of our greatest mistake? Will the Warriors sign Colin Kaepernick and dress him in a Finals game just to troll not only the NBA, but the very foundation of our society?
Good lord, so many questions.
Come what may, I’m so frickin excited we almost have basketball back. Trying to come up with a quick summation of what’s happened since June — when the Warriors won their second championship in three years — feels like reading the runes of an ancient, doomed society. There’s been heartache, stupidity, and callousness in overabundance.
But F it.
For once, I’m really, really excited to stick to sports.
Say it with me! BASKETBALL! BASSSSS KEEEEEEEETTTT BAAAAAAALLLLLLL.
It’s almost here. I can feel it. I’m excited. Let’s talk about Jordan Bell’s upside. Let’s salivate online about Patrick McCaw’s status as a guaranteed first ballot hall of famer. Let’s rewatch a Curry to Durant alley-oop until our eyeballs fall out.
For the love of all that is holy, let’s immerse ourselves in this game.
It’s time. Three days. Three days is nothing. It’ll fly by like cheese. Or however that saying goes. Get pumped. Get distracted. Basketball is almost here, and it might just save us all.