:format(webp)/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_image/image/58499101/usa_today_10526543.0.jpg)
The Los Angeles Clippers passed away peacefully on Monday afternoon, at 3:32 PST. Upon trading Blake Griffin for a bag of peanuts and future assets, doctors and league officials had no choice but to declare the Clippers dead.
The Clippers and Pistons have agreed on a deal to trade Blake Griffin for Tobias Harris, Avery Bradley, Boban Marjanovic, a first-round and a second-round draft pick, league sources tell ESPN.
— Adrian Wojnarowski (@wojespn) January 29, 2018
While news of the Clippers’ passing is shocking, the team had been gravely ill for seven months, since the troubling diagnosis of Chris Paul no longer wanting to play for them. Despite a treatment plan of numerous injury-prone players, the team was never able to recover to full health.
In lieu of flowers, the team politely asks that you instead send your best trade offers for DeAndre Jordan, Lou Williams, and Avery Bradley to Los Angeles.
Sources: Clippers will continue to pursue packages of young players and picks in talks for DeAndre Jordan and Lou Williams.
— Adrian Wojnarowski (@wojespn) January 29, 2018
The Clippers are survived by Austin Rivers, Doc Rivers, a new arena being built outside of the bustling area where their current arena resides, and a recently broken 12-game losing streak to the Golden State Warriors.
The memorial service will take place at the Western Conference Finals, a spot the team always dreamed of visiting.
Cool story, Glenn.