Last Week in Weaponized Joy: Did Curry and Jones steal the show?

Ah yes, there’s nothing like “Weaponized Joy”.

It is the fuel of the Golden State Warriors dynasty, the combination of vinegar and baking soda in a 5th grade volcano experiment, the bottle of the “Secret Stuff” from the Space Jam movie.

Last week the back-to-back champs wrapped up their preseason schedule with a game against the Phoenix Suns and two entertaining tilts against those SoCal rivals, the Los Angeles Lakers. There were plenty of memorable highlights to go around with all that Pacific Division warfare. But, only the select few weaponized joy for Dub Nation.

Let’s see which moment did it the best. For your ear-related pleasure, enjoy the attached musical selections.

“Oops upside ya head!” - Curry to Jones on a monster alley-oop

Greatest point guard alive Stephen Curry got the Dubs bench straight to their feet with a nasty 35-foot lob to the young leviathan, Damian Jones.

Why this deserves to be #1: At the time of this highlight, Curry was halfway through a monster first quarter. On this play, both of Curry’s defenders anxiously picked him up so far from the three-point line that he could have split both of them and rocketed toward the rim.

But why did “Unanimous” decide not to break LaVar Ball’s son’s ankles for the San Jose crowd? Because he knows that in order to optimally weaponize joy, he’s got to spread the love to his teammates. He knows Damian Jones is trying to get a rhythm heading into this season; what a better way to get the young pup going than by feeding him a big time dunk opportunity?

Shout out to Jones for putting some stank on that finish with the one-handed cockback. Jones is learning he can get easy buckets just by running the floor with this high-IQ ballclub. For a guy with his athleticism, this should be his blueprint when he’s running in transition.

Extra points are rewarded for the Dubs’ bench leaping out of their seats for some celebratory skipping. According to my gold-blooded calculations, morale level increased by at least 25% for the rest of the quarter.

“The Big Payback!” - Looney flushes it down on Javale McGee

Well, well, well...if it isn’t our old friend JaVale McGee. You see, the Golden Dynasty resurrected the gangly 7-footer from the shackles of “Shaqtin-A-Fool” infamy. They gave him a spot on the roster, and patiently groomed him until he started for the team the NBA Finals. Two championships later, McGee defected from the Golden State to ally with the sworn Warriors’ enemy, LeBron James, in Los Angeles.

Kevon Looney, his former backup, reminded McGee of the foolishness of that decision with an old-school slam.

Why it should be #1: IS THIS WHAT YOU WANTED JAVALE?!

Looney’s slow-motion two hand stuff had the grace of a Galapagos tortoise fighting off another male during mating season. McGee was clearly caught off guard by the aggression, and could only look up in the quiet shame of a man who realizes he left a dynasty to join a fallen king.

The slam was punctuated by the sharp shriek of a piercing whistle. The basketball gods knew they had to reward Young Looney for the gumption he showed in that forceful move, and compelled the refs to hand out the “And-1”. The 22-year old UCLA product stoically swung his stout 6-foot-9 frame underneath the rim as play stopped, slamming backwards into the startled McGee. The Lakers’ big man took the bump in stride, pivoting into a “oh no this is gonna be on IG” jog.

One of my favorite anticipatory moments is that split second when the producers of the game’s TV feed have to figure out where the camera should zoom in first. Do they highlight the furious satisfaction of the dunker, or magnify the angst of the broken human being on the other end?

This time, the answer was neither. That’s because Kevin Durant and Draymond Green were swarming at the edge of the baseline, snarling and barking at McGee with equal parts venom and amusement.

Yeah, Durant better stay, unless he wants to end up like that, haha jk lol...#splashordie

“Put Your Hands Where My Eyes Can See!” - Curry taking lunch money

I can watch this clip on a loop forever. Curry just gets tired of a jabroni from Phoenix dribbling in his face and nonchalantly snatches the ball from him. He then zig-zags with impish precision the other way, stopping his opponents’ hearts with every jarring change of direction. Was Curry moving super fast? Or was his footwork so good he could casually float through the defense like Peter Pan?

This clip should totally be #1 because: Curry is a two-way disruptive force, but doesn’t get enough credit for his consistent, solid defense because people are way more fascinated by his unlimited offensive powers. Prove you believe this by supporting this video as the most weaponizing of last week’s joy.