Last Week in Weaponized Joy! Jerebko and Curry bring the heat

Ah yes, there’s nothing like “Weaponized Joy”.

It is the fuel of the Golden State Warriors dynasty, the milk and cookies Santa Claus eats on Christmas Eve, the Soul Glo jheri-curl spray from “Coming To America”.

Last week the back-to-back champions opened up their annual title defense by winning two out of their three games versus a rogue’s gallery of Northwest Division brutes: the cursed Oklahoma City Thunder, the feisty Utah Jazz, and the crafty Denver Nuggets. There were plenty of memorable highlights to go around with all of that Opening Week action. But, only the select few weaponized joy for Dub Nation.

Let’s see which moment did it the best. For your ear-related pleasure, enjoy the attached musical selections.

“Jazzman” - Jerebko returns to Utah to break their hearts

Jonas Jerebko, the former Jazz player, came back to Utah and crush their dreams with his bare hands.

Why this deserves to be #1: His clutch tip-in with .3 seconds left destroyed what was literally the greatest shooting night in Jazz history. This tip came after superstars Kevin Durant and Steph Curry both barely missed twisting in the final dagger to Utah’s heart. This heady move came after Defensive Player of the Year illegally shoved the smaller Jerebko in his spine.

The shot completed the Warriors insane comeback in a hostile environment, and silenced the team that last summer threw “JJ” out into the NBA scrap heap by with this lazy tweet.

Sweet comeuppance at the hand of the newly baptized Brother of Splash. Jerebko roared in front of the stunned Utah bench like Simba reclaiming the Pride Lands from evil Uncle Scar, as his teammates mobbed him in pure gratitude and derision.

“Song of the Count” - Curry summons Dubs’ bench to count his 4-Point play

Greatest point guard alive Stephen Curry unleashed his iconic 4-Point play celebration after being fouled on a made three on the road against the Denver Nuggets.

You better vote this #1 because: The greatest shooter in the history of roundball was the only Warrior who could buy a long-range bucket during Opening Week.

Meanwhile Curry was lighting it up from every which way, averaging 31 points per game on 47% shooting from distance.

This contested bomb was a thing of beauty, reminding the world of three things. Firstly, the assassin’s accuracy he displayed on this falling shot is why he’s the most feared shooter in the game. He routinely expects to make this high degree of difficulty carnival shots.

Secondly, his competitive arrogance burns through his body like lava. It’d be one thing if he just counted to three to tally what he had already scored. No, he’d rather go ahead and prophetically count that fourth point from the free throw he hadn’t shot yet.

Thirdly, and finally, it reminded us of the kinetic energy that Weaponized Joy brings. His teammates giddly leapt into the post-foul action like the Jacksons’ backing up Michael on “Blame It On The Boogie”. When your teammates are counting up your future buckets with you on cue, you’re a monster.

“BACK2BACK” - KD receives his second straight ring in front of OKC

The final Warriors player to be introduced on the night of champions was back-to-back Finals MVP Kevin Durant.

Why this moment deserves to be #1: Russell Westbrook and the rest of Durant’s former Oklahoma City Thunder teammates had to sit and watch in the dark as KD picked up his second piece of jewelry. If that doesn’t fill Dub Nation with joy, I don’t know what to tell ya.

There’s nothing like a 2x MVP wildly celebrating his back up’s success. The Elder Splash Brother Curry couldn’t contain himself from jumping around as Splash Adoptee Quinn Cook drills a big-time shot before the clock expired.

The reason this moment should be #1: The Warriors have started off the season struggling to shoot from beyond the arc; no secret there. Curry exalting the timely bucket with the fervor of a young German retriever seeing a tennis ball flying at him was contagious. The crowd was electrified as the synergy of selflessness and gratitude washed over Dub Nation like a wave.

Cook knows that he has the full support of the best shooter of all time, and that confidence is infectious. I’d bet that in the future, Cook won’t hesitate to shoot on those important possessions when the defense leaves him in order to stop the All-Stars.