This Week in Weaponized Joy! Four Dubs’ All-Stars own the headlines

Ah yes, there’s nothing like “Weaponized Joy”.

It is the fuel of the Golden State Warriors dynasty, the hot butter on movie theater popcorn, the “Eye of the Tiger” training montage in a Rocky movie.

We have a new batch of joyful moments to choose from today, folks. Four Dubs All-Stars sent a new wave of shock and awe throughout the NBA with performances on and off the court. Now, it’s up to you to choose which scintillating performance electrified the champions and broke the will of their opponents.

“Off The Wall” - Curry annihilates John Wall’s Wizards with 51 points in 3 quarters

The greatest point guard alive shuts the door on the John Wall-Bradley Beal’s “greatest backcourt” claim forever by roasting them like marshmallows.

Why this should be #1: First, Curry drops 31 points in the first half in this showdown of “elite guards”. For reference, Wizards savior Wall had 13 points for the entire GAME.

But if that wasn’t enough, Curry stays lit and burns the Wiz for 20 points in the third quarter. Curry was hitting circus shots that had Oracle Arena howling in derision while the ball was still in the air. Every time he drilled a bucket, the Oakland fans exhaled with the roaring force of exploding bombs.

There’s no event like “Curry demolishing an opponent with Harlem Globetrotter moves” when it comes to mainlining joy directly into Oracle’s veins.

“New York, New York”- KD crushes the Big Apple with 25 4th quarter points

Kevin Durant unleashes “Slim Reaper” mode on the New York Knicks with 41 points, 25 of them in the 4th quarter of a comeback win.

Why you should vote this #1: This was punishment for every article and SportsCenter segment Dub Nation was forced to endure on the “KD to NY” angle. Durant is a leader of the Golden Empire; how dare this fallen despot known as the Knicks use billboards in attempting to distract him from his goal of bringing a third straight title to Oakland!

Why would Durant want to join up with this franchise after he saw them completely helpless against him in crunch time? His current teammates thoroughly enjoyed watching KD tear the Knicks apart from everywhere on the court. Inside, outside, open, contested, it didn’t matter in the slightest to Durant. The shots were going down.

“Love Me Sexy” - Headband Klay drills record breaking 14th three-pointer

Klay Thompson, the younger, taller Brother of Splash, shook off a minor shooting slump to unleash the greatest long-distance barrage in NBA history on his coach Steve Kerr’s former club, the Chicago Bulls.

You simply have to vote this #1 because: No one has ever made more threes in a single NBA game. Not Reggie Miller, not Ray Allen, and not even Steph (whose record of 13 was surpassed last night). The only thing that nearly held him back was a head-on collision with teammate Damian Jones. Thompson started leaking blood from a cut in his forehead, and had to don a headband to keep his bandage in place. Is there anything in the NBA more gold-blooded than a bearded, bloodied, headbanded Klay running around terrorizing a basketball court?

Per NBC Sports: “I looked like Jackie Moon out there, so I was feeling good,” Thompson joked with reporters after the game. ”He’s one of my favorite characters in all of sports movies, so that’s probably why I broke the record.”

Will Ferrell’s movie ode to preposterous basketball was the reason Klay broke the record? I can’t stop giggling. It was really cool to see how the Warriors rallied around Klay and force fed him the ball as he unleashed. True weaponized joy comes from the energy circulating between teammates who are as excited their brother’s succes as they are their own. Look at Klay’s teammates passing him the rock and then leaping for joy as he made NBA history.

“Fergalicious” - Warriors bust out the gigs to support Draymond

This has to be voted #1 because: There’s nothing more joyful than the whole squad dancing on your haters, right? Draymond Green got called out by the dude from the “Transformers” film franchise for having the audacity to be amused by Fergie’s horrendous national anthem rendition last All-Star game.

The Warriors struck back after crushing the Knicks with this team dance to that hilarious remix, breaking Transformers Guy’s will.