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This Week in Weaponized Joy: Vote for Jones, Curry, or BOB MYERS?!

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Damian Jones goes flying, Steph Curry delivers a monster block, and Warriors GM Bob Myers does a beautiful thing.

NBA: Golden State Warriors at Phoenix Suns Mark J. Rebilas-USA TODAY Sports

Ah yes, there’s nothing like “Weaponized Joy”.

It is the fuel of the Golden State Warriors dynasty, the milk that accompanies a freshly baked batch of oatmeal raisin cookies, the vibranium that Wakanda is built on (R.I.P. Stan Lee!).

Last week we saw the champs deal with injuries and adversity as they battled the grizzled Memphis Grizzlies, the fiesty Milwaukee Bucks, and the tricky Brooklyn Nets. Somehow, despite losing Stephen Curry and Draymond Green to injuries, the champs still figured out how to bring joy to Dub Nation and win two out of three.

Let’s see who weaponized the most joy!


“Slam! Let the boys be boys!”- DJ rocks Oracle with a monster alley jam

Quinn Cook tosses a pass high in the sky that Damian Jones catches and spikes through the rim with tremendo flair.

Why you better vote this #1: I was in the building when this power jam went through, and I can tell you firsthand that Oracle nearly stormed the court after this went down. Jones is an athletic freak; to be 7-feet tall with that kind of elevation is the stuff that NBA 2K create-a-player dreams are made of.

Cook nonchalantly lobbed this pass up towards the heavens, leaving Jones no choice but to rise high above the fray and snatch the ball in his giant grip, before hurling it like a lightning bolt for two emphatic points that sparked the crowd into street-ball level pandemonium.

The Warriors bench broke into spontaneous, random celebrations of awe and fury. THAT’S HOW YOU DO IT DJ!


“I Can’t Go For That” - Steph Unleashes Monster Chasedown Block on Grizz

Steph Curry caps the champs third quarter blitzkrieg with a buzzer beating monster rejection against Memphis.

This has to be #1 because: The Warriors were in a close tussle with the longtime rival Grizzlies for two quarters, before the champs activated “Deep Blue Sea” mode and ripped Memphis apart in the third quarter, outscoring them 32-10. Curry’s devastating block sealed the run, and sent Oracle arena into delirium.

Curry swooped down on Wayne Selden like a golden eagle terrorizing a goat and throwing it off a mountain cliff. “Unanimous” snarled and walked away from Selden’s fallen body, stomping away from the carnage as the buzzer squealed. The entire bench rose and spilled onto the court to mob Curry’s sudden transformation from mild-mannered greatest point guard alive to STEPHKEMBE MUTUMBO!

Get that shot outta here!


“Forget Me Nots” - Bob Myers blesses Casspi with championship ring

Ex-Warrior Omri Casspi is honored as a champion in his return to Oakland as a member of the Memphis Grizzlies.

This is best choice because: The Warriors did not have to do this.

They champs initially had high hopes for the forward to deliver playmaking and outside shooting when they signed him last season. Yet, he never seemed to figure out the Warriors system. He bypassed shots he was supposed to take, and mucked up the spacing with arrhythmic backdoor cuts. The Dubs parted ways with him in April, on the eve of their annual playoff march. Ostensibly this move was made to give Quinn Cook a bigger role in the absence of the injured Steph Curry.

However, there were some rumblings that Casspi’s attitude was “suboptimal”, a quote attributed to the Athletic’s Ethan Sherwood Strauss.

The Warriors won the title (of course) and could have merely FedExed Casspi a ring in the mail with a generic “Wish You Were Here” postcard. Instead, they made the classy move of celebrating him at center court in front of Dub Nation, bestowing him with a token of basketball immortality for his efforts in the Golden Empire.

Casspi seemed genuinely touched as Warriors GM Bob Myers warmly greeted him, and those good vibes helped the champs blow the doors off of Casspi’s new team.

Poll

Which Warrior weaponized the most joy this time?

This poll is closed

  • 32%
    Jones rocks Oracle with a monster alley jam
    (27 votes)
  • 33%
    Steph Unleashes Monster Chasedown Block on Grizz
    (28 votes)
  • 34%
    Bob Myers blesses Casspi with championship ring
    (29 votes)
84 votes total Vote Now