The Tar-Mangled Banner
I didn’t watch the NBA All-Star Game, but caught the national anthem.
Fergie, formerly of the Black Eyed Peas, performed the national anthem. TNT panned to Draymond Green, licking his chops, barely hiding the hilarity. Chance the Rapper busted out laughing. Jimmy Kimmel incredulously shook his head. Joel Embiid almost lost his trust in the process.
As my girlfriend and I watched, mouths agape, she whispered under her breath, “What’s happening?” I couldn’t even answer. We sat there, stunned.
By the end of Fergie’s rendition, I expected a TNT announcement that Francis Scott Key’s gravesite in Baltimore had spontaneously combusted. For all the time and energy Americans put into black men rightfully kneeling during the national anthem, I can ASSURE you, people are barking up the wrong tree. The tree is Fergie and you can bark if it makes you feel better.
This is us
This past weekend, the man occupying the White House visited hospitals in Florida where children were recovering from another brutal school shooting. He blamed the FBI, smiled and gave his thumbs ups at hospital photo ops, and moved on to Mar-a-lago. He continues to deny Russia’s meddling in the past election. He lies, he cheats (on the American people and his wife), and our country elected him.
Fergie’s national anthem was mangled, crude and goofy. She nailed it. It represents who we are as a country right now.
These were still funny.
I'm not so certain that went the way fergie thought it went— Shea Serrano (@SheaSerrano) February 19, 2018
see what happens when weed gets legalized— ☕netw3rk (@netw3rk) February 19, 2018
JUST ANNOUNCED: Fergie will NOT be singing the National Anthem on Opening Day. Performer still TBD.— Rochester Red Wings (@RocRedWings) February 19, 2018
LMAO reactions from Fergie national anthem at ASG pic.twitter.com/KbMD99DVOh— THH (@TrapHouseHoops) February 19, 2018
Band member: Hey Fergie what key are you signing the anthem in tonite?— Morgan Campbell (@MorganPCampbell) February 19, 2018