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Oops, Steph Curry ruined basketball

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He just had to go making those amazing shots and ruining the sport, didn’t he.

NBA: Atlanta Hawks at Golden State Warriors Cary Edmondson-USA TODAY Sports

By now you’ve surely heard the rumors. Golden State Warriors two-time MVP Stephen Curry is bad for basketball. Those ridiculous, 35-footers with a hand in his face? Bad shots. Encouraging bad behavior.

Never mind that he, you know . . . makes them. Which is kind of the point of shooting in the first spot. Never mind that he shoots a higher percentage from 25-29 feet than Russell Westbrook, James Harden, or LeBron James shoot from 10-14 feet.

Remember when Curry’s former coach, and human salt block Mark Jackson said that Curry has “hurt the game,” because kids want to imitate him?

Just like Jackson was obviously right to give crucial fourth quarter isolation shots to Jarrett Jack instead of Curry, he’s right about Curry ruining the game. Last week, USA Basketball announced new guidelines for youth basketball.

No three-point shot until you’re 12!

Boy, would I have sucked on my fifth-grade team if they instituted that rule. But that’s beside the point.

USA Basketball is also recommending that younger players get smaller basketballs, which is obviously because all of the kids today are breaking their fingers trying to stretch them so they can palm the ball like Giannis Antetokounmpo.

So there you have it, folks. Steph Curry’s horrible brand of basketball is ruining today’s youth who, by the way, won’t seem to get off my damn lawn.