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Warriors waste your time and mine, lose 128-95 to Celtics

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Golden State came out flat, stayed flat, and ended flat.

NBA: Boston Celtics at Golden State Warriors Kyle Terada-USA TODAY Sports

The Boston Celtics beat the Golden State Warriors 128-95 on Tuesday night and, honestly, it wasn’t nearly that close.

If you watched this game and came back for a recap, you’re some kind of masochist. If you didn’t watch the game, let me spoil it for you: stop while you’re ahead. Leave. Never look back.

This game was a waste of everyone’s time, and writing about it and reading about it is also kind of a waste of time.

So I’m going to make this short.

The Warriors started the game behind the eight ball when it was announced that Klay Thompson and Kevon Looney wouldn’t play. Shaun Livingston was then a game-time scratch with neck spasms.

Not a good way to start against a Celtics team in dire need of a win.

And then the game started. And just like that, the Warriors found themselves trailing 11-0. The second quarter rolled around and the Warriors - now down 18 - were trusting rookie Jacob Evans III to provide big minutes.

The same Evans who last played 19 games ago, when he appeared for five seconds. That Evans.

Everything was listless. DeMarcus Cousins looked like a staffer had informed him pre-game that defense existed, and this was his first time confronting it. The Celtics targeted Cousins mercilessly. They attacked him in the pick and roll. The forced the switches and then attacked him some more. In transition they honed in on him like jet fighters.

It was ugly.

At times the Warriors tried to abandon their switch-everything scheme, and, well, I’ll let you be the judge of how that went.

Kevin Durant played the first half like he was debuting a new sponsorship with Ambien. He seemed disengaged, disinterested, and as passive as could be.

At the half they trailed by 25. At home. Against a Celtics team that had lost five of their last six.

But wait! The famous third quarter Warriors would come blitzing out of the halftime gates!

No, they wouldn’t. It was simply more of the same.

Gordon Hayward scored 30 points off the bench, and needed just 16 shots to do so. The entire Warriors bench scored 32, while playing 111 minutes.

Steph Curry shot 8-16 to lead the Warriors with 23 points. The rest of the team shot 26-69.

Kevin Durant had two assists, two rebounds, and five turnovers. Cousins shot 33.3% and went 0-5 from distance. Andre Iguodala sported a new hairstyle, and on more than one occasion I mistook him for Steve Harvey.

It was U-G-L-Y the Dubs ain’t got no alibi.

Ugly.

On to the next one.