As GSoM begins to do season reviews/autopsies on the heroic yet tragic 2019 campaign, we will have an opportunity to reminisce on the highs and lows of the final Hampton’s 5 season. There were plenty of juicy subplots the whole season:
- Kevin Durant’s free agency looming over the franchise, causing unrest with Draymond Green and the organization.
- The Warriors suffering severe injuries throughout the playoffs and gritting their way through.
- The Warriors going undefeated in the Western Conference without KD prompting, “Did they ever need him?” chatter
- The Warriors getting pushed around in the Finals prompting, “Will they ever win again without KD?” chatter.
- KD returning to the NBA Finals only to blow out his Achilles followed by Bob Myers' tearful “Blame Me” speech over KD
We’re sitting on a gold mine of juicy stories, people! This deserves more than the obligatory “30 for 30” treatment. What if we went full on Steven Spielberg and made a feature length film out of it all?
Let’s suss out a few potential actors for each role.
To play “Dray”, the actor would need to be equally believable as the guy prophesying blessings directly into KD’s face from 3 inches away and also be the guy roaring that KD needs to GTFOH.
That emotional volatility would have to be couched with an ample amount of charisma and sincere charm to convey Green’s fierce love.
I offer to you, Winston Duke.
Duke is currently apart of the Marvel comic book universe, portraying the intimidating combatant “M’Baku”. Who can forget his positively Draymondian scene in Black Panther, when he started barking in disgust at a trespasser?
We can even throw Green’s miraculous late season weight loss as a side story to the main drama to give Duke more time to shine as Green. I’m feeling pretty good about this pick.
“Unanimous” is a role that requires understated swag. We need somebody who can tug on the viewers’ heartstrings in touching, slice-of-life scenes where he’s just chilling at home with his wife and three kids eating popcorn and listening to gospel music.
We also need him to have the burning aura and piercing gaze of a gifted assassin who was trained from birth to rip hearts out on the hardwood.
I offer to you, Michael Ealy of such movies as Barbershop, Takers, and The Perfect Guy.
We can even throw in the ridiculous storyline about Curry’s wife Ayesha entering the headlines for talking about “male attention”. People love the drama, smh.
Although not a member of the “Hamptons 5”, Boogie’s up and down season adds way too much emotion to the script to be left out. For Boogie’s role, we need a dude who is really good at scowling and being dramatic while hinting at a heart of gold buried underneath all of that bluster. Somebody like Ice Cube, but younger!
Hmmm, what about Cube's son O’Shea Jackson Jr. of NWA and Godzilla: King of the Monsters fame? (Warning, next clip contains NSFW gangsta rap language).
Some of my favorite movies involve a singer dipping their toes into the movie world. What if we took a 1990’s R&B star and had him join our ensemble cast? If he’s playing Klay, we wouldn’t even have to give him lines!
I present to you, the obvious Klay clone, smooth R&B superstar from yesteryear, Jon. B.
With rumors swirling around Klay’s tabloid titillating various romances, we could even shoot B-Roll of him hanging out in L.A. with various lovely ladies, and it would look exactly like that music video.
For this hypothetical movie, I need to build a hypothetical time machine to bring back 1991 Laurence Fishburne to play the legend Iguodala.
But if that fails, I’ll gladly take Michael B. Jordan, the star of Black Panther and Creed. He has the physique to play the super buff Iguodala, the thoughtfulness to portray Iguodala’s tech ventures, and the wry sense of humor to use “massa” as a joke in an interview with national media.
And of course, the most dramatic role in the ensemble belongs to that of the 7-foot monster, KD. We need an actor who can portray a man trapped in an unending search for fulfillment, a baller who is as comfortable burrowing into moody silence as he is sending a dangerous warning into the cameras: “You know who I am”.
How about Jamie Hector who played the terrifying brooder Marlo Stanfield in HBO’s show The Wire?
MY NAME IS MY NAME! Give this man a black baseball cap with the “7” on the front, and he’ll be good to go.
That’s my best crack at it so far, I haven’t figured out who the director is (who am I kidding, obviously Bay Area legend director Ryan Coogler!). Let me know in the comments.
Also, who should play Steve Kerr??
Which one of Hardee’s actor choices was the absolute worst?
This poll is closed
Steph Curry’s one
The one for Klay smh
CLEARLY THE DRAYMOND ONE
Killmonger is way too young to play Iguodala
BOOGIE COUSINS ISN’T A PART OF THE HAMPTONS 5 BRUH
I support the Gold Blooded King’s decisions wholeheartedly