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Nate Robinson is boxing Jake Paul, for unknown reasons

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No one asked for this. Not one single person asked for this.

Denver Nuggets v Golden State Warriors Photo by Rocky Widner/NBAE via Getty Images

Thursday was supposed to be a happy day in the sports world. The MLB season is starting. We’re a few days away from the WNBA season starting. We’re a week away from the NBA season resuming. Good stuff.

But nooooooo. No, apparently we can’t have nice things here in the sports world.

The morning started with an unfortunate news drop: Mike Tyson would be boxing Roy Jones Jr. in an exhibition match in September.

There’s a lot to dislike about the fight. Tyson is 54, has spent time in prison on a rape charge, and hasn’t fought in 15 years, when he looked entirely washed. Jones is 51.

But, in keeping with the rules of the year 2020, the news went from bad to worse, with the announcement that Nate Robinson and Jake Paul will be fighting on the undercard.

Yes, that’s former Golden State Warriors guard, 11-year NBA veteran, and three-time slam dunk champion Nate Robinson. And yes, that’s YouTuber and professional controversy creator Jake Paul.

Nobody asked for this. Literally nobody asked for this. OK, not literally — apparently Robinson, Paul, everyone who stands some financial gain, and Paul’s exceptionally annoying social media followers asked for it — but for all intents and purposes, nobody asked for this.

It says a lot about 2020 that this clocks in at just 7,819,692 on the list of bad things to happen this year. In most years it would be in the top 10, easily.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to curl up in bed under eight layers of blankets, watch the following video, and pretend nothing else exists.