A few ways to (not) fix the Warriors

You’re probably aware of the general issue going on with the Golden State Warriors right now. You know the issue I’m referring to. You know the exact one. It’s the issue of being not very good at basketball at the moment.

Big issue.

A Wednesday night loss to the Phoenix Suns put the Dubs at 0-8 on the road to start the year, which is their worst opening mark in my lifetime. That’s pretty remarkable when you consider how bad some of those teams in the 1990s and 2000s were. This team, with Steph Curry legitimately playing like the best player in the NBA, is setting acts of futility that are baffling even to Mike Dunleavy Jr. and Adonal Foyle.

And so I, as a person tasked with doing some Very Important Things, set about to figure out what, exactly, is going wrong with the team we love and adore so very much. The team that hoisted a trophy into the air five months ago. A team that very much intends to do that again in seven months.

More specifically, I set about to figure out how to fix the things that ail them. And so I did what any self-respecting millennial would do when facing a difficult task: I outsourced it to the internet.

Using an online gambit that’s well past its expiration date, I took to the Dub Nation dwellers of Al Gore’s internet and asked how to fix the Warriors ... with wrong answers only.

Here are the brilliant answers that were returned to me.

Flawless.