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Take The Kids To Work Day leads to 128-83 loss

Steve Kerr benched most of the grown-ups. A lineup made up of players who weren’t alive when The Matrix came out predictably struggled.

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Golden State Warriors v New Orleans Pelicans
Rookie Ryan Rollins was a game-high -3 in his 17 minutes Monday night.
Photo by Ned Dishman/NBAE via Getty Images

Steve Kerr once again let down the hard-working people of New Orleans by benching all of his starters in a game, for the second time in a month. But if Kerr is going to spend a whole game letting young, unqualified people handle an NBA game, why should we do any differently here at Golden State of Mind?

So here is a recap of the Golden State Warriors’ blowout loss to the New Orleans Pelicans with the help of my five-year-old nephew. Because how is he ever going to become a playoff blogger if we don’t give him the reps in November? That’s what Joe Lacob told me at least.

Sean: So we watched a basketball game together. What did you think?

Nephew: you made me turn off Aquanauts.

Sean: I did do that. I’m sorry. So what happened?

Nephew: You and grandpa yelled at the TV.

Sean: And what else happened?

Nephew: Grandpa wanted to turn it off and watch soccer.

Sean: You and were playing with a soccer ball earlier. Are you going to be a soccer player?

Nephew: (indignant) No. I’m going to be an engineer!

Sean: I just meant, next year. OK, so you like the Warriors and you’re wearing a 2022 Championship t-shirt right now. What players do you like?

Nephew: Steph Curry and Klay and Ray Mond.

Sean: What about Andrew Wiggins? He’s Canadian like you.

Nephew: No I live in Walnut Creek! (He recites his address)

Sean: So those guys didn’t play. Did you know any of the guys who were in the game?

Nephew: Poole is on your silly shirt (It’s a Poole Party t-shirt). And then we watched Kabunga.

Sean: Kuminga. He had 18 points and blocked three shots. Remember when Grandpa and I yelled about the block?

Nephew: No I DON’T. (He flops backwards onto the couch and puts a small pillow over his face)

Sean: So the other team got way ahead and then what happened?

Nephew: Grandpa changed it to the 49ers.

Sean: And what did Uncle Sean do?

Nephew: You watched your computer.

Sean: And what did you do?

Nephew: I watched volcano videos on your phone.

Sean: So we were both watching disasters right?

Nephew: I was watching VOLCANOS! And snowstorms.

Sean: Did you see that Donte DiVincenzo didn’t score any points?

Nephew: Dante is in my class.

Sean: Yeah we saw him on Halloween. What was he?

Nephew: A PJ Mask.

Sean: Just like Russell Westbrook.

Nephew: I have to go to the bathroom.

Sean: Do you need help?

Nephew: No! I’m five!

Jordan Poole did need help, but he didn’t get it from anyone. At least he scored 26 points, which is more points than I scored with my nephew. Kevon Looney played five minutes to preserve his consecutive games streak and didn’t score but grabbed five rebounds. My nephew kept up his streak of eating at least one Popsicle in every trip to my parents’ house.

DiVincenzo had five assists and two steals. Kuminga played 39 minutes and Moses Moody played 32, where he had three turnovers (bad) but didn’t foul once (good!). My nephew invented a game where he hides behind a chair and grabs your ankles while you pretend to be scared.

Patrick Baldwin Junior scored his first NBA points, and Ryan Rollins got to play 16 minutes. I played hide-and-seek during the 4th quarter and missed Rollins’ lone three-pointer.

Brandon Ingram had 34 points in 30 minutes for the Pelicans, who effectively got to rest their starters as well, since they led 17-4 early and upped the lead to 35-11 with a minute left in the first quarter. Jonas Valanciunas made all four of his shots and finished with ten points and 13 rebounds, Zion Williamson returned to score nine points, and Devonte Graham made 6-11 three-pointers, which were all he shot, and finished with 19 points.

All of this barely matters, because like me playing Chutes & Ladders earlier in the evening, the Warriors weren’t trying to win. It was like a Summer League game without the charm or the chance to see Shams Charania eating a soft pretzel on the concourse.

My nephew came back and I asked if he could tell the Warriors played young guys in the game. “No, those were grown-ups,” he explained.

“How old do you think I am?” I asked.

“Fifty-five,” he answered.

The Warriors will host the LA Clippers on Wednesday night at the Chase Center.

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